My boyfriend loves playing with my anus but I feel really umcomfortable with that.

Not that I hate it, we have tried anal before and while he still laughs at it because of my expression of full terror, now I can't simply do it because my anus is too small.

He's ok with that, I'm ok with that, in the future I will train it so we can enjoy it.

Now, the real problem comes that he likes to finger and lick my anus, and it makes me fucking paranoid about smelling like shit or maybe being disgusting and making him puke.

I shower normally, I'm very clean, but sometimes I wonder if something went wrong it could ruin it forever.

How do you get to feel secure about this? Do I have to wash my ass in his house before sex everytime or maybe it's just the gamble he pays for?