>been working at this place for 2.5 years, respected and high status position just below management
>been 100% sober for 3 years, everyone knows my history of drugs and prison etc
>go to a party with all my coworkers at my managers house
>end up getting sloshed and leading the drunken charge
>have sex with my neighbors ~45 year old fat neighbor milf
>go to work monday and everyones cracking jokes about me
>everyone knows, everything is twisted, making jokes about me


its like ive pulled a 180 and im just a joke alcoholic who of course relapsed. of course i fucked the haggard old lady who was hitting on all the young guys. of course it was me to fall victim to all of the shit. i didnt go to work all week and im afraid to face the guys who used to have respect for me. i feel like ive lost something that cant be earned back. i dont even know what i want from /adv/