are you 16, OP? Because this was me when I was 16
I loved a girl that didn't deserve it, but I naively thought that if I simply loved her as greatly as I could, then it'd all be okay. Suffice to say, that relationship ended hard & i've yet to love anyone as passionately again, as I made the decision not to throw my heart at anything but a worthy receiver. Problem is, the whole world is chalkfull of shit people, so it becomes a question of: do I keep my heart to myself and risk forgetting how to unfold it, fully, upon another, or do I give it to whoever I can in the moment and shatter myself
The answer is pretty clear to me.
I'm prepared to die alone. I'll always have eyes open and heart ready for the kind of girl I'd need, but I've no expectation of ever meeting her. This is okay