I am a 26 year old male who had a certain amount of girls, some of them were serious relationships, some were less serious, and some were just a one night stand kind of things.

but here is the thing...
i always had problems approaching females and understanding their signs. i honestly dont know how i even lost my virginity in the first place, or had my first kiss. i am in 90% of the cases either too passive, or too aggressive. and that is all because of my insecurity which i try to hide behind this facade ive created during these years. people dont see me as insecure but as somebody who is either phlegmatic, or somebody who is quite strict or pissed off at everything (most of the people think i look like a skinhead who is about to beat the shit out of somebody). only people close to me, my friends, my family or ex girlfriends who ive been for some longer time know how sensitive and caring person i actually am.

and i am LITERALLY afraid of females.
and only few people actually know that. could be from the fact that i grew up with mostly females who were all older and stronger than me.

for example: this year i worked in some kind of a bigger corporation in some program in which they hired young talented people (typical corporate bullshit), and in few occasions we got to speak to the big guy, the owner (one of the most powerful people in my country and surrounding countries), and ask him questions about the company. even though i was kinda scared about it, everything i asked sounded normal and i even got compliments on my questions.

cont.