/adv/ - Advice » Thread #16386165

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OP Sat 24 Oct 2015 11:50:50 No.16386165 View Reply Report Delete

Quoted By:

God damn it why can't I get her out of my head?

We broke up 4 months ago but there is still so much pain. Every day I think about her and what could have been. First real relationship. Is this how they all are?

I just want to get together with her and apologize to each other. For what she did to me, for what I did to her.

I know both of us feel horrible on the inside.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 11:54:19 No.16386177 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16386186

Don't. This will soon pass.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 11:55:42 No.16386182 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16386202

You need to do this, op. You have nothing to lose, and it's most likely eating you both up inside. I hate when I see people trying to avoid their loved ones. If you really love someone, fight for them.

I had this ex, right? I fought for her. She kept rejecting me, but atleast I tried and tried until there was no trying left. I knew it was pathetic, but I wanted her to eventually remember that I had tried so hard, and maybe just maybe it would help her to see what I was trying for.

I would have loved that girl deeply, in and out and through everything. I still can't believe she would throw something like that away.

It's not that I think so highly of myself. It's that, if something ends all of a sudden on the wrong side, then of course you will always be tempted to wonder what it would have been like on the right side.

Go for it, op, this is life and it is your oyster.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 11:56:48 No.16386186 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16386198 >>16386202

>>16386177
You don't even know the situation? People have such a strong opinion over someones 'ex'. If they broke up, sure they broke up for a reason, but who are you to say that reason even meant anything?

People change, grow, things move on in the world. It happens. Don't let people go so easily, be a good fucking human.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 12:00:59 No.16386198 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16386203 >>16386222

>>16386186
Well apparently they both did "something" to each other... obviously they weren't meant to be.. they get back together today and maybe 2 months down the line they break up again.. I know as much about the situation as you do. Re establishing a relationship that has been ended is very difficult and while I don't necessarily disagree with you, in most cases getting back together with an ex after 4 months is a terrible idea and these things all happened to a reason... so don't call me a bad human just because I put my 2 cents on a vague as fk situation..

OP Sat 24 Oct 2015 12:03:02 No.16386202 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16386208

>>16386182
>>16386186

I've analyzed the situation between us so much, read self help books about what I think is going on and I've realized that we were just fucking kids. Just acting on our emotions and it got ruined so quickly...

I started this whole thing from the beginning, but she just went and made things worse. She looked at the mess, got scared, and made it worse but not on purpose... She dealt with it in the only way she knew how... I would forgive her, but it would take some discussion.

Thanks for this guys, she means a lot to me. I just want her to be her best at the end of her life. I want us to have it all together.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 12:03:29 No.16386203 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16386198
Still though, you could be wrecking something for op if they believed you. It should go both ways. In the positive, they could work on their problems and not completely be together.

On the negative, they can keep avoiding eachohter and never know, then most likely regret later in life if they don't find someone just as compatible and it may be too late.

Just wait for op to post more then.. sorry for calling you a bad human.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 12:06:08 No.16386208 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16386256

>>16386202
It's true. How old were you both, op? And how long did you date for?

Usually, if it's the first on you both (or real, anyway) then you are kids even if you are past your 20s. It takes a lot of time to get to know somebody. It takes time to lose for somebody. It's hard to define love too.

It's all on what you feel. If it's constant sadness then yes, there's something wrong. If you feel a part of yourself empty as fuck, then there's something wrong.

Do not ignore the signs. Please don't do that to whoever this person is, because you do seem like a good soul and I want this to work out for you.

I wish it went that way for me, but all I can do is offer support to others. Life gives you a shitty hand sometimes, but remember it's all about choices.

OP Sat 24 Oct 2015 12:08:33 No.16386222 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16386235

>>16386198
I agree that things happened for a reason, but I've been looking at this situation, identified those reasons and if we were completely genuine with each other, I could probably calm things down and start from ground zero with her.

Just because things happen for a reason doesn't mean that the couple can't be highly aware of what is going on, realize what they did wrong, and come back together while promising to never let it happen again.

The reason why I did what I did to her was because my needs weren't being met... And that is my fault completely. And the reason why she did what she did was because her needs were no longer being met because my attention was more on another woman than her.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 12:10:58 No.16386235 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16386256

>>16386222
On another woman? Well that's not good at all. You need to explain further if you want some real help with this.

No matter what happened between you, you can move on. Got physical? You can move on from that too. Got attached? Move on. Be better. Try again. Atleast you tried one more time as grown-up people, so you could put the box over it and send it away.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 12:17:06 No.16386256 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16386268

>>16386208
We were both 22.

>>16386235
My woman introduced me to one of her friends. Immediately I was intrigued. This woman was interested in psychology like I was and in the same fields, into being fit and healthy and working hard for it. Not the most attractive looking, but she was easy to talk to. I gave her a book of mine that I treasured. Blah blah.

Gf didn't like this at all. And I could tell. But AT THE TIME, I didn't know how to handle it. Not at all. I was still so new to a real relationship. So I panicked in the moment every time we fought about it instead of just letting things be the way they were. Begging and pleading. Now she doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 12:20:50 No.16386268 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16386256
It did not get physical at all. I didn't touch this woman ever. I knew if I did I would be screwed with my woman.

But at the time I didn't realize that I was already causing so much pain for her by doing the things I was already doing. "emotionally cheating" you could call it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 12:40:45 No.16386336 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16386389

Yep, emotional cheating is still just as bed. Well, try talking to her, and update if you want.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 13:06:38 No.16386389 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16386483

>>16386336
I've tried talking to her so many times during these 4 months. Now she's at the point where she is convinced that there is nothing left for either of us to come back to. But I know her feelings tell her otherwise, I feel the same way.

She's just in so much pain that I don't think she will ever let US happen again. Also with what she did to me in return to losing my attention, I don't think she would let herself come back. It would be hard for her to forgive herself.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 13:33:02 No.16386483 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16386591

>>16386389
What did she do? If you're still around.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 14:10:06 No.16386591 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16386483
So we "broke up" and after a month she met up with me and told me herself that she had sex with some other guy.

When she told me this, she was crying. Like she knew that she had done something wrong. She couldn't even look at me.

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