/adv/ - Advice » Thread #16386947

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A Hitman Job

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 15:57:00 No.16386947 View Reply Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16386955 >>16386956 >>16387105 >>16387218

How much would it cost to have someone kill me? And how would I go about finding that person? Craigslist?

I'm too pussy to offmyself, but I mean I just want someone to come up to me with a glass of cyanide and be like here, drink this. And then force it down my throat. Simple as that.
I'll write the suicide note and then they can just walk away scott free. How much would this cost?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 15:59:06 No.16386955 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16387014

>>16386947
Typically more than private psychiatric treatment

And then you get to live, and look forward to the future

C'mon, OP. I'm a medfag with an interest in psych. Let it out... I can ask questions later

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 15:59:26 No.16386956 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16387014

>>16386947
probably about 20k

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 16:14:45 No.16387014 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16387164

>>16386955
No thanks
>>16386956
Ugh fuck me. I only got like 8k right now. I'm not asking to get questionably shot and murdered. And Craigslist??

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 16:32:39 No.16387073 Report Delete

Quoted By:

Actually yeah where do I find someone to do this because I feel like some fuck will like turn me in with a cop or some shit

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 16:41:50 No.16387105 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16387198

>>16386947
>How much would it cost to have someone kill me? And how would I go about finding that person? Craigslist?
That's simply not doable. Giving someone permission to kill you doesn't make it legal for them to do so. It's still murder - premeditated murder at that. What you're talking about here is a contract killing, all be it an unconventional one.

Now, let's say you're paying me to do it (fbi pls go, I'm a carpenter not a killer). Usually, you'd tell me who you want killed and give me half the money up front, so that I know you're serious and if you do a runner I at least get some of the money. Then, when the job is done, you settle up for the remaining balance. That won't work in your case though, because you'll be too busy being dead to pay the other half of the bill. Instead, you're going to have to pay me the whole amount up front. At that point, I can either commit a crime that if I get caught will see me doing twenty five to life and walk away with $15k in my pocket - or I can just get in my car and go home, still with $15k in my pocket.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 16:54:57 No.16387147 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16387405

suicide by cop? i hear they like to shoot unarmed people over there.

Canaduhfag.

Canaduhfag. Sat 24 Oct 2015 16:58:32 No.16387164 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16387198

>>16387014
I'd strangle you to death for 8k. Deal??

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 17:04:55 No.16387198 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16387280

>>16387164
Deal. I live in Minnesota we are close

>>16387105
Thanks for the insight. That fucking sucks. I just want to die, but I'm too pussy to just fucking kill myself. I sit on the ledge of my 5th story apartment every night, and I've had a gun to my head before. I can't do it. I just want to be dead. So what's a good way? Can I "accidentally" kill myself in some way?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 17:12:32 No.16387218 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16386947
>glass of cyanide
lol that's a lot of fucking cyanide

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 17:17:52 No.16387229 Report Delete

Quoted By:

Find a homeless person.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 17:35:02 No.16387280 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16387198
>Can I "accidentally" kill myself in some way?
Same guy you replied to and yes, you probably could. Cocaine allways makes me massivley over-estimate my abilities, frfom mundane things like trying to chat up girls who are way out of my league or thinking I'm a world champion pool player, to potentially life threatening things like thinksing I can walk from one side of a bridge to the other by balancing on the gaurd rail, or thinking I can walk up to a guy who's 6" taller than me and 100lbs heavier and just beat the crap out of him without getting hurt myself.

If you were to combine that with something inherently dangerous - like rock climbing or motocross - there's huge potential for you to inadvertantly remove yourself from the gene pool.

One more thing - and I'm going to be brutally honest here, because I can get away with it on an anon forum - I'd rather you didn't kill yourself. The two posts I've made and your reply is the closest I've come to having a conversation with someone in about a week, and it would really suck if the only person who'd talk to me went and threw themselves off a bridge.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 18:12:35 No.16387405 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16387511

>>16387147
not responding to this shows me you are not really serious about it.

it's free, can look like an accident (why a note then?), instant.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 18:51:17 No.16387511 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16387405
What would I exactly do? I don't wanna harm anyone else, and what happens if they diffuse the situation by nonlethal means and then I just go to jail and my lifes even more shit?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 20:21:54 No.16387720 Report Delete

Quoted By:

I'd lock you in a room with out food for $2

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