I just now am realizing that I might have been emotionally abused by my mother during childhood.

She was always emotionally distant, constantly verbally harrassing me and now I'm a 21 year old who has no reference of how to express emotions. My guard is up 24/7, distrust pretty much everything, cannot trust my perceptions and constantly self-conscious on how I am coming across.


I don't know what to do and I don't know how to fix it.

What should I do /adv/?