[7 / 1 / ?]
Quoted By: >>16388113 >>16388207
/adv/, what advice can you give for dating a girl with Aspergers and a childhood filled with abuse+neglect because of it?
We've been going out/hanging out (no difference in my language) for a month now and she seems to be warming up to me. We have fun together, but it's clear that her 'disorder' takes up a very large part of her life. It troubles her a lot, and that troubles me. She's a great person and I admire her, but she's so negative about almost everything. Everyone and everything is working against her, and there's very little she can do against it with her disorder. People are exploiting her limitations, that sort of thing.
Is there a way how I can help brighten up her world view? All these warped expectations came from past experiences, and there's no amount of "no way that'd ever happen" that'll undo that. Not that I'm playing white knight or anything, but I want to help her to lighten up a bit, gain a more positive outlook.
The second thing I'd like some wise words about feels kind of selfish after I just wrote the above, but it's bugging me and I must ask. I like her, but she hardly shows any affection herself. Physically, verbally, digitally, it doesn't matter. If I try anything romantic through any of these, she ignores it or goes quiet. She asks me to be there for her a lot, and asks me out to places a lot as well. However, that's the only thing that remotely shows she at least cares about me. But as what? Does she see me as just her emotional support? Or does it mean she still sees me as a potential boyfriend? I wouldn't mind being one, but it's kind of frustrating to see couples locking arms and being loveydovey, while we're still acting like it's the first 10 minutes of our first date. Even the 'date' part is debatable.
Given the above paragraph, what should I do about this? Should I even do something about it?
We've been going out/hanging out (no difference in my language) for a month now and she seems to be warming up to me. We have fun together, but it's clear that her 'disorder' takes up a very large part of her life. It troubles her a lot, and that troubles me. She's a great person and I admire her, but she's so negative about almost everything. Everyone and everything is working against her, and there's very little she can do against it with her disorder. People are exploiting her limitations, that sort of thing.
Is there a way how I can help brighten up her world view? All these warped expectations came from past experiences, and there's no amount of "no way that'd ever happen" that'll undo that. Not that I'm playing white knight or anything, but I want to help her to lighten up a bit, gain a more positive outlook.
The second thing I'd like some wise words about feels kind of selfish after I just wrote the above, but it's bugging me and I must ask. I like her, but she hardly shows any affection herself. Physically, verbally, digitally, it doesn't matter. If I try anything romantic through any of these, she ignores it or goes quiet. She asks me to be there for her a lot, and asks me out to places a lot as well. However, that's the only thing that remotely shows she at least cares about me. But as what? Does she see me as just her emotional support? Or does it mean she still sees me as a potential boyfriend? I wouldn't mind being one, but it's kind of frustrating to see couples locking arms and being loveydovey, while we're still acting like it's the first 10 minutes of our first date. Even the 'date' part is debatable.
Given the above paragraph, what should I do about this? Should I even do something about it?
