>Met her a year ago
>First girl to ever show interest in me
>Supported her through her depression, self harm and personal problems
>Started talking outside of class
>Began hanging out/talking everyday
>Started dating
>Fell in love
>Things going really well
>In May she sleeps with another guy on a drunken night out
>Don't find out until June after going through her messages
>Cut her off completely (She didn't seem remorseful, made excuses)
>Week later she contacted me, apologized, seemed really remorseful and told me she loved me
>Decided to forgive her (stupidly)
>2 weeks later she calls me up and says "things aren't working"
>Reluctantly agree to remain friends
>She still calls me everyday, we even hang out often and are fwb on/off
>She starts a new college course
>We'd still talk but she would call me less often
>Realized she was moving on and I wasn't
>Told her that it's too hard for me remaining friends and we need to go separate ways
>She asked me not to, told me she still loved me and that she wanted to work on herself before me and her talk about "us"
>I felt bad 'cos she cried on the phone and told me "therapy is pointless" without
>I told her to forget it and remained in contact
>2 days later I see she's still talking to an ex and I ask her about it
>Angrily I told her that I can't do this anymore
>Get into an argument. She tells me she only stayed with me 'cos she felt sorry for me etc. I mocked her self harm (regret that so much)
>idk whether she meant this or was just angry
>I blocked her off everything

I'm so tempted to unblock her. I miss her so much. I love her and I feel so lost without her. She was my first gf. At the same
time though I think she's really selfish and horrible for the way she treated me. It's like now she's got new friends or whatever she
doesn't need me anymore :(


I just feel like drinking myself to death at this point. I genuinely can't cope and I'm too depressed to want to get up and do anything.

Help?:(