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How to become stoic?

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 23:59:36 No.16388546 View Reply Report Delete

So right now i'm feeling:
>fuck she was unlike anyone i've ever been with. Yet like all the others, she only ended up hurting me, hurr durr life is only pain.
Now what i want to feel is:
>fuck that shit, i don't need no fucking chick but if one happens to come along that'd be OK.

How do i go from a to b?
I have been b and loved it. (Or was that just a way of coping with lonelyness? Idk, shit feels so useless and painfull right now.

>Inb4 drugs

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:02:10 No.16388560 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388566

More experiences = more resilience

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:03:12 No.16388561 Report Delete

Quoted By:

This is what the girl I liked looks like now:

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:05:03 No.16388564 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388573

It's normal to be sad for a while, OP. Just don't let it drag you down

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:06:10 No.16388566 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388672

>>16388560
Doesn't feel that way, this's been the worst. Probably cuz it was the first i actually thought might have a future with.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:07:37 No.16388573 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388613

>>16388564
I know it's normal, but i hate normalfags and want into something more constructive than self pitty

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:18:34 No.16388613 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388655

>>16388573
Well, then distract yourself by doing something useful. Working with your hands is probably the best way to do that. Do you have a skill or are you interested in learning one?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:30:49 No.16388655 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388658

>>16388613
Yeah, being a loner while not a gamer has given me aa valuable set of skills. science, building stuff and playing/writing music are my life. The first one is supposed to become my career, the last one is something i can actually imagine doing while feeling like this. It all seems so useless though.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:32:14 No.16388658 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388662

>>16388655
Starting a new project can be very therapeutic, just give it a try.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:33:47 No.16388662 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16388658
I will, thanks

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:37:40 No.16388672 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388697

>>16388566
have more experiences, so you'll have the feeling of might having a future with many girls, until you realize women are a waste of time, resources and sanity.

Then you just rely on fwbs/tinder girls for sex and keep your eyes open for that 1-in-100 girl that isn't a drain on your life but adds without taking. And then you don't marry her because marriage is for suckers

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:38:20 No.16388679 Report Delete

Quoted By:

Sorry for being an attentionwhore about this,but: Knowing i'll soon graduate and be unemployed fucking hobo doesn't quite help the "focus on other stuff" strategy either. Other stuff is just as fucked up!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:42:27 No.16388697 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388712

>>16388672
Yeah i thought this one was the one you mentioned last.
Meaningless sex i 'd only enjoy if it was either bdsm or purely as a middle finger to the other girls.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:48:02 No.16388712 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388727

>>16388697
>Meaningless sex i 'd only enjoy if it was either bdsm or purely as a middle finger to the other girls.
literally doing both at the same time lol

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:50:00 No.16388727 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388742

>>16388712
Yeah that'd be sweet, but damn where do i even begin finding that :s

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:54:57 No.16388742 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388743 >>16388762

>>16388727
first of all learn to spot a kinky girl. Tell-tale signs are colored hair, collar-necklace or any jewelry with a small padlock, also piercings and tattoos and generally crazy girls are kinky as well. The non-obvious ones are really hard to spot, usually you won't know until you run into them.

Most tend to have pretty nerdy hobbies though. Especially cosplay is very closely related to BDSM, not sure how you'd go at it but that is something you might want to check out.

Another thing is of course BDSM local groups but if you are a guy they pretty much require you to bring some sort of a partner which means it could be a chicken/egg situation.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:56:16 No.16388743 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16388742
>you won't know until you run into them.
by that I meant you don't know until you slap their ass during normal sex and suddenly she comes much quicker

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 01:00:16 No.16388752 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388761

>>16388546
Read a bunch of transcendentalist literature.

I took a bunch of American Literature classes and also did some independent reading.

You will never have the same outlook on life.

It's not really a pro/con trait tbh though op. Stoicism is kinda trait of deep insight/intuition/wisdom, but also not all the time. In order for you to be stoic, you need to be stoic. I don't really think it's something you obtain casually.

In fact, most people use stoic as a fault. My opera history professor told me I was extremely stoic and convey so little emotion or even seem like a I care at all even though I had "deep insights and beautiful thoughts."

Op, the best advice I can I can give is to love the self. Retreat into thought and your own passions.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 01:03:30 No.16388761 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16388752
This

Or join military. Helped me. One can only be so much of a bitch, yknow

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 01:03:44 No.16388762 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388780

>>16388742
Except most of those signs hace become mainstream :p
So i guess i'll have to build up the courage to go to an bdsm event alone.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 01:04:43 No.16388766 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388806

Dude. You are putting her on a PEDESTAL. You had this concept of her and all her good qualities in your head painted into a masterpiece - but that's not who she really is, because this 'masterpiece' just dumped you. Open your eyes and see that she has flaws, she has MAJOR personality flaws just like the rest of us. She's batshit crazy, just like all other women. She expects so much out of men that she dates because she's been treated that way all her life, and guys line up to date her. You can't really blame her - she's gonna be all used up by the time she's 40 so she's gotta sell it while it's hot. But she's just looking for someone who's on the up and up and is willing to devote themselves to her. That's a fucked up mindset IMO. Don't be that guy that gives up everything for her and finds himself stranded with nothing else, and get surprised when she left him because he's got nothing going on for himself.

Women are unreasonable. The only winning move is to not play. The best part about a relationship (the sex, the companionship) can be obtained with a night out and a morning in.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 01:06:52 No.16388780 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388806

>>16388762
bdsm itself has become more mainstream. Of course earrings/tats are not surefire signs but it's a point to a certain mindset that is often related to bdsm in girls

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 01:13:54 No.16388806 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16388780
Yeh, good thing i have a huge weak spot for exactly those traits (except tatoos, those are like bumperstickers on a bentley, piercings are sexy tho) .

>>16388766
Yeah i know, trying to remind myself of her flaws now. Not a chance i'd put my personality overboard lol. Still i feel like i've put up with life mainly cause i do expect to end up with someone....

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 01:25:21 No.16388836 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16388902

I have to thank you guys for your support. I think i haven't thought about her since halfway trough this thread and been constructively thinking about how to deal with other gals. Still a sobbing mess cause i feel like it's such a long road with definetly more pain to come ( i seriously hope a significant part of it will come from a whip thougg) and no guarantee of ever finding justification for al this. But it's an improvement.
Any constructive advise or questions by likeminded individuals is off course still welcome!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 01:45:52 No.16388902 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16388836
remember that the pain will go away, but the experience nothing can ever take from you

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 02:29:59 No.16389059 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16388546
>how to become stoic

Read the Stoic literature, obviously.
Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, Seneca.

I guess you might start with some of the more modern stuff like John Sellars' "Stoicism" or "Stoicism and the Art of Happiness" and "The philosophy of Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy", since they have a perspective on modern day living.

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How to become stoic?