So I'm a male bifag. There's this friend that I've had feelings for for the last ~4 years. It was just a crush at first, then I fell in love with him, and now it's getting really bad. The last two times I've seen him, I've gotten so nervous I had to go to the bathroom to throw up. I'm pretty sure I'm obsessed with him. Like 50% of my spare time is spent just thinking about him. Not the idea of being with him, not my history with him, just him. I just want to cuddle with him and never leave him. I'm trying to convince myself to just start treating him like a good friend and be concerned with him finding the right girl (I'm like 90% sure he's straight) but it's not really working. Now that this shit happened to me today where I threw up again, I'm thinking about just telling him how I feel. I'd say it's more likely than not that he starts avoiding me completely, but I think I'll just start living better overall if I just tell him.

The pros and cons are basically that I'll be able to focus on school and myself a lot better, versus losing a good friend (he was my best friend at one point a few years ago, no strong feelings involved), and being excluded from a lot of social gatherings in my main circle of friends as well.

A few people know that I have feelings for him, but I wouldn't wanna tell any of them how bad it is because they'd probably be weirded out. I guess maybe I could see my therapist about it; I stopped going a few months ago when I stopped being so depressed, but this is really starting to affect my life.

wat do