Tonight was the best night I had a long time but also one that was terribly depressing.

I went to a party and got to see a lot friends. Very happy to see them. I had a lot of fun. The worst part? The new faces I saw.. who are like 17 or 18(I am 27) already have girlfriends and what not while I don't have a girlfriend and never really got the chance to have one.

I feel like I have missed out horrifically on this stuff and I don't even know how. I don't have a car which I think limits me greatly with women. Holy fuck I feel terrible.

I just wish I had the opportunity. Like one of the new faces I saw there had a brand new BMW. No idea how he got it. I suspect parents but I don't like to jump to conclusions.

What is fucking my mind up is that I feel like I have missed out on so much! I have had friends get married at like age 22... I haven't had ONE relationship. NOT ONE. I also have this bad feeling that once you turn 30.. you basically fucking die. What do 30 year olds do? 30 year olds in my shoes?

Help me.. the jealousy of these peoples lives is extreme.