I am sorry, OP. The only advice I can give you is something you have probably heard a thousand times before: the only way to overcome these fears is to face them head-on. To overcome a fear of rejection, you must be rejected and survive, possibly many times.
I know this makes it sound easy. I know firsthand that it is not. It fucking sucks, especially mid-process. But I also know firsthand that it is the only way out. Nothing else works.
This doesn't mean you have to be reckless about it. You don't cure arachnophobia by dumping a bucket of spiders on your head. Set things up to help you survive, if you must. Face your fear in whatever kind of small dose is practical, at first. But face it.
If you wait for the courage to come, it never will. Courage isn't when you aren't scared; it's when you ARE scared, but you do it anyway. Be brave.
