I'm 31 never finished college, can't hold down a job because I don't feel normal unless I'm in a dangerous situation. It all started when I was in my teens an began to hang out with some criminal gang types. Hung around them until my mid 20's decided I needed to get my life togather and moved out of state. But moving made it worse, in the new state I got more involved with worse people. Eventually I came back home and cut all ties with any old "friends". I feel like a combat vet that can't adjust to a normal life. Married now with a child. But I miss the money, I miss the chaos and it's depressing the shit out of me. To the point I want the drama that comes with being involved with higher up criminal types. Do I have some sort of ptsd ? All I want to do is gamble, hang out in strip clubs and get shot at again. Damn I'm a loser.