/adv/ - Advice » Thread #16393438

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Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 09:41:40 No.16393438 View Reply Report Delete

Quoted By:

How do i think like a normal person?
I worry and over-think everything to the point of making shit up in my mind and feeling more and more down.
I don't trust anyone or what they say, and I am constantly afraid of whats to come.
How do i just quit being a weirdo?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 09:45:36 No.16393441 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393444

ive always found self conscious people to have a level of arrognce in their own neurosis

the earlier you realise that noone gives enough of a fuck about you to think negative thoughts about you the earlier

i mean put it this way, you care about what others think - but do you usually go through a day where you think ill of someone? of course not, too much effort. so why would they do the same to you?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 09:47:20 No.16393444 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393459

>>16393441
I have come to this conclusion in the past, but i just over-think way too damn much to pay attention to it! I will push logic aside as i worry myself to death about these silly things!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 09:58:39 No.16393459 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393472

>>16393444
What's worrying you? Maybe think about meds

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 10:03:38 No.16393472 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393496

>>16393459
It use to be worrying about what people thought of me.
I guess recently it has been lies, I just cant trust anything, it's affecting my relationship now. Anything she says i struggle to believe, i have reasons for not trusting her but holy shit it's over the smallest things and i know it's my over-thinking problem that is causing most of it, i just need my mind to shut down when i start to worry.

And i'd rather not to meds, I don't think my exact situation requires them.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 10:17:25 No.16393496 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393503

>>16393472
> i have reasons for not trusting her
Are these reasons justified or are you blowing them up because of the worrying? If a lot of the worries are to do with your relationship then you need to talk to her about them. Otherwise, try distract yourself when you feel yourself worrying - go for a walk, watch a film etc.
I suggested meds as it sounds like anxiety and they might help calm you down in the times when it gets a bit too much.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 10:20:20 No.16393503 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393532

>>16393496
I guess justified in a way... She lied a lot when we first met, i guess it feels to me all her stories have a catch or a twist or there is stuff she hides from me. Talking just makes me worry more she is lieing to my face.

What sort of meds would i get? do i need to be prescribed them by a doctor or can i just buy them at a store?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 10:30:33 No.16393532 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393545

>>16393503
What did she normally lie about? Big or small things?
You'd need to get them through a doctor, something like Valium where it only takes ~1 hour to take effect.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 10:35:50 No.16393545 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393551 >>16393701

>>16393532
A range, her age was the biggest, then lots of made up stories followed that, she's honestly never cheated or betrayed me, only made up so many stories and hid so many things from me that i never know what to believe, i feel i have reason to not trust her but i know if i was anyone else i would be able to move on and deal with it and just trust her no problem.

What would i say to the doctor? would along the lines of this thread get me those meds or would i have to bullshit a little?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 10:39:44 No.16393551 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393558

>>16393545
Everyone finds moving on and dealing with things difficult. You don't need meds, you just need to realise that it's time to pack your bags.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 10:43:42 No.16393558 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393562 >>16393564

>>16393551
I honestly feel it's partly my fault, my bags are packed and ready to go if i found out one more lie from her. So for now i really do need meds or a way to fix my trust issues.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 10:46:34 No.16393562 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393571

>>16393558
No, just do it now. Stop putting it off or you'll never do it. There doesn't need to be a one incident that triggers it, you can decide to after simple reflection on her past behaviour.
If you know for a fact that she's lied about other things then you don't have trust issues, she's untrustworthy. She's the one with mental shit to sort out, not you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 10:48:06 No.16393564 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16393558
How is it your fault? I think it's time to move on and stop causing yourself so much stress OP.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 10:50:13 No.16393571 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393579

>>16393562
Sorry anon, but not happening.
I've sort of come to terms with the fact i am staying with her until i find another lie if there is one.

In my view all girls are liars, i can handle these lies she has put forward so far, so why move on to a whole new batch i may not be able to handle if i am capable where i am now?

I just would like to sort out my trust issues for now. It's annoying and you'l be mad at me but there is a chance she is being honest now, I don't see any real loss from sticking around with her so to me fixing the situation is worth a shot.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 10:54:35 No.16393579 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393592

>>16393571
The possible loss is further losing your faith in other girls and women, making future relationships even harder to cope with. Clearly if you're seeking out medication for this, you haven't come to terms with it. Pull your head out of your arse and do what you know full well you should be doing.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 11:01:09 No.16393592 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393596

>>16393579
The same happens over and over, everyone lies.
Maybe it is just me i don't know. But i'd like to find out.
I am sticking this one out, if she is honest then maybe she will help me be more trustworthy of people.
If someday it turns out she is still lieing then lucky me i am "free" from her and back out there still not trusting people.

Only way to go is to put my faith in this girl to help re-build my trust if i can't trust her i can't trust anybody.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 11:02:57 No.16393596 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393600

>>16393592
Most people will lie about one or two things occasionally, but not to the point that those around them feel like they need to be on medication just to deal with it.
Don't be a fucking idiot.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 11:05:09 No.16393600 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393602

>>16393596
I don't know if i need medication or not.
I wanted advice and i was suggested medication... I would love to figure out how to trust without it, but my mind is too fucked up with over-thinking to just trust people naturally.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 11:06:31 No.16393602 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393612

>>16393600
Gee, I wonder if that has something to do with being in a relationship with someone who lies to you a lot? It's a goddamn mystery.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 11:12:30 No.16393612 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393614

>>16393602
Then what better way to cure my trust issues than with the very person who caused them? There is no losing because if i walk away now i will never trust anyone again.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 11:13:46 No.16393614 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393619

>>16393612
What better way? Practically anything else would be better than staying with the person you know to be a liar. Now you're even lying to yourself.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 11:15:47 No.16393619 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16393708

>>16393614
Stay with her and she is honest
>I now trust people
Leave her
>I still can't trust anyone and will never know the truth from my past relationship
Stay with her and she lies
>I still can't trust anyone but learnt a very important lesson about listening to anons on /adv/ i will hunt you done and paypal you some dinero for your solid advice i ignored

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 11:59:43 No.16393701 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16393545
It sounds like your partner is a manipulative liar, and by spending so much time with her you've gown accustomed to the manipulation as being "normal."

But you know it's not normal, that's why you're having this conflict. And it's hard to work through it, I know.

Here are some things you could do to improve if applicable:
>spend time away from her/dump her
>quit marijuana
>quit cigarettes
>quit drinking
>start lifting or walking/running (get fit basically)

I don't recommend getting meds like that fucking anon from earlier. You don't have a disorder, you have been manufactured to feel this way, and you can manufacture yourself to be normal again.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 12:02:37 No.16393708 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16393619
She's not going to be honest now that she's set a precedent and you've gone along with it. Leave her, find someone who doesn't lie and learn to trust them. I don't know where you're getting these nonsense ideas that she's going to change or that if you leave her you'll never trust anyone again. You have no grounds for believing either of these things, you're just making them up.
Clearly you're just refusing to listen to the advice you've asked for so this is going to be my last post on the matter.

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