I recently found a new ladyfriend for the first time in years, and we get along great. She's attractive, intelligent, fun to be around, and we also share more or less the same kinks (BDSM, in short). A few days ago, she tried to get me off. Handjob, then blowjob. Didn't work, and I was frustrated, so I jacked off non-stop for about 2 hours when she got tired. I didn't give up for lack of stamina either, I just realised it wasn't fucking working. I decided not to jack off in the meantime, assuming that the problem was just that I'd done it too much lately, and this kinda happens to me sometimes if I have too many orgasms.

Fast forward to today; the same thing happened, except my follow-up masturbation was a bit shorter. She decided she should be going home; I continued masturbating while she packed up and left (callous, I know, but I was soaked in sweat and would've more or less needed a shower to escort her). Used my free hand to get some porn up on my laptop, continued masturbating for another half hour or so, and finally came. Buckets. Most intense orgasm in memory; I'll chalk it up to the whole abstinence thing, and will probably continue that.

I want to be able to finish, y'know, with her, though. Why the hell can't I cum when she's giving me a handjob, or when I'm masturbating normally while she's watching, only to be perfectly fucking capable once she's left? What the fuck?

Please help. I've never heard of a man suffering from this issue before.