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Consider what you want to change and why. Are you bothered by a lack of social skills? Do you struggle with superficial conversations, showing your feelings, experience frequent awkward pauses in conversations, or other practical problems? Perhaps you manage to come across sociable enough, but still wish you didn't always feel so uncomfortable and insecure.
Also ask yourself how much you really want to change – not everyone is or can be a social butterfly. Don't waste efforts comparing yourself to others. Don't tell yourself that you should be like them. This is simply negative reinforcement, which will only make you feel like you are different, alone, and, in extreme cases, even inferior.
Reframe your thinking. Socially anxious individuals frequently have a stream of negative thoughts running through their heads. "I look awkward," "No one is talking to me," or "I am going to look like an idiot," are all thoughts that may run on a loop. As you can probably tell, these thoughts are all negative and will only serve to keep you feeling shy and self-conscious.
Aim to break the habit of negative thoughts by becoming aware of when you are falling prey to them and by challenging their logic. For example, just because you are nervous in a crowd or at a party does not mean you look awkward. Others around you may be getting a case of nerves, too.
Re-framing means not just taking a positive spin on your thoughts, but also a more realistic perspective. Many negative thoughts are rooted in irrational beliefs. Find evidence that disputes your negative thoughts and find another way of looking at the situation...
