/adv/ - Advice » Thread #16402899

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Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 20:24:49 No.16402899 View Reply Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16402958 >>16403012 >>16403040 >>16403052 >>16403206

Hello /adv/
I'm autistic. And no I don't just mean I'm a giant faggot. I've been diagnosed with several types of autism over the years, depending on the doctor you talk to.
So heres the problem: I have a hard time getting to know people. I would like to talk to people, but I just can't approach them with anything interesting to say, which makes for some awkward conversation. When people approach me, I'm usually so quiet and empty minded, I end up just looking like a muttering faggot who doesn't like anyone. I'm a pretty nice guy, but I'm clumsy which also give people shit to make fun of me. What do I do to at least go about while maintaining a healthy social life?

Alphonse

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Alphonse Wed 28 Oct 2015 20:41:46 No.16402958 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16403018 >>16403084

>>16402899
>autism
top kek

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 20:56:11 No.16403012 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16402899
He actually has autism holy shit

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 20:57:43 No.16403018 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16402958
no bullie pls : (

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 20:59:55 No.16403027 Report Delete

Quoted By:

Ayy lmao off to page 6 with you

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:00:03 No.16403028 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16403044

I advise professional help. There are people in this world who make a living by helping people like you. Practice is all you can do.

It gets better.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:03:20 No.16403040 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16403067

>>16402899
I like to try to stick to social situations where there are more people around to pick up slack in a conversation. It's hard for me to interact one-on-one; I feel like I either talk continuously about something dumb or can't think of anything to say at all--two extremes. But in a group of three or more, I suddenly feel overwhelmingly more comfortable. I can take my time and only pitch in when I have something friendly, relevant, and interesting to say.

Of course when the group becomes too big, then trouble with even getting a word in edgewise can emerge...

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:04:03 No.16403044 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16403028
No good therapists in the area. I choose not to use medication for anxiety and depression because my cousin committed suicide when he was on both. I keep a healthy lifestyle by keeping active and talking with close friends, but I would love to meet new people around me.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:04:46 No.16403052 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16403055

>>16402899
What I can't figure out is why you would post that picture with this question. Are you some kind of fetishistic pervert?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:05:49 No.16403055 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16403070

>>16403052
She has curves :^)

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:08:28 No.16403067 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16403079

>>16403040
Half the time that works, but there are sometimes where I just stand in the group expecting to butt in when i know I can't.
Thank you anon, thats probably the best advice i'm going to get on this thread.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:09:04 No.16403070 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16403076

>>16403055
Actually, I have this fetish too(?) and I am wondering if it is associated with autism in some way.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:10:22 No.16403076 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16403070
Nah, I don't think I have this fetish or any to be honest. I do know there is some link between fetishes and autism in general.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:11:21 No.16403079 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16403091

>>16403067
I mean, the idea is that eventually you become friends with the people you interact with and the barriers to smooth conversation gradually recede. Of course, I think it takes longer for me to make friends this way than it does for other people using different methods that involve more one-on-one time.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:12:33 No.16403084 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16403089

>>16402958
You have an anime photo with a caption on it . . . Please kill yourself

Alphonse

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Alphonse Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:15:23 No.16403089 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16403094

>>16403084
>on a site dedicated to japanese culture
>doesn't like japanese culture
gb2 facebook normie

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:15:40 No.16403091 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16403168

>>16403079
I usually make friends online and through social media and end up meeting in real life since it's much easier to me to think of what to say through text. But this makes me feel unfulfilled in a way.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:17:48 No.16403094 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16403089
You do know other boards besides /a/ /h/ /jp/ and /d/ exist. It's not 2004 anymore, anon.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:38:08 No.16403168 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16403091
In my experience "online friends" don't fill the same niche as "real" friends. I think they both "count" as friends, but both types of friendships are deeply influenced by their own contexts, so it can be hard to go without IRL friends in favor of online-based friendships.

I also think the kinds of people you will meet online are different than the kinds of people you meet through shared activities. Of course, it depends on what those activities are, and different people will want to get different things out of friendships anyway. Personally, I want to have lots of different kinds of friendships with different kinds of people, so I definitely feel a bit unfulfilled when I don't have any friends nearby I can easily hang out with.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:48:30 No.16403206 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16403226 >>16403240

>>16402899
Bruv first off you don't identify as autistic.

You're basically saying 'I have a disability' and somehow not expecting everyone around you to be completely turned off by that.

Autism isn't some sort of permanent, immutable condition either, it's just a matter of the ego letting itself go, which is why you're empty-minded, because you're forgetting to keep in a state of stimulation.

It's basically like the psychological equivalent of forgetting to breathe.

Just learn how to breathe again, so to speak, and things like your emptiness and clumsiness will go away. You'll feel more in your body and real with more control over your situation both literally and physically and socially/emotionally.

Just switch the focus in the way you think often enough and never get stuck in one place or in one context. Once you get the hang of it soon it will happen on its own just as naturally as breathing.

Autism is learned helplessness in a way and when you go so far as to adopt it as an identification, even just in passing like 'my doctor told me so and so', you're essentially telegraphing to everyone that you're on that track towards that irreversible learned helplessness which eventually leads to complete social suicide. Don't let anyone tell you what you are except for yourself.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:53:38 No.16403226 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16403270

>>16403206
I don't identify by it anywhere. To be honest, I don't really want to go about saying it but I feel like it might be a part of my problem.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:58:08 No.16403240 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>16403270 >>16403285

>>16403206
No. This post is harmful pseudoscience.

Sure, don't walk up to people and say "hi, I have autism," but why would you conceal the fact if you are anonymously asking for socialization advice on an image board? It is relevant to the question, don't you think?

For some people like me, having autism isn't a daily hinderance to my life or a "disability" as such, but other people are visibly different. Making the use of labels like autism tabboo doesn't help those people to fit in, it isolates then even more by making their visible differences (mostly behaviors in this case, but this rule applies in general to other categories of disability as well) mysterious and frightening. Saying "my little brother has autism. He communicates using sign language" will make people more comfortable than just pretending he doesn't exist while guests are in your house.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 22:06:54 No.16403270 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16403226
You feel like it might be a part of your problem because what it implies, like as far as the other symptoms associated with it, seems accurate, right? As if it was the centre of the issue and everything else stemmed from it.

Well you should think of it this way. Autism is not actually that centre. It's just a name for the centre (the whole diagnosis and all that it implies), a description, not a prescription. It's our best guess at piecing together what that centre actually is.

For some, the description actually becomes a prescription when they're unrecoverable from the get. Like nonverbal autism. It's fair to say those people have an actual autistic condition. But if you can write coherent sentences then you're far from unrecoverable. You're just lazy. Insulting sure but that's good news really. It means you aren't damned to a completely pointless social life but that you have the capability to learn and ultimately end up with a real and meaningful and thriving one.

And most of all, never pay any attention to people like:
>>16403240
Because they need to bring you down into their failure in order to gain comfort with being the way they are. Never cave into their weakness. They aren't saveable. A person who doesn't understand that it has nothing to do with the 'taboo' of the label but just the fact that the label exists and that it's been applied is in my opinion actually deserving of the label in this case and is incapable of learning and growing out of their condition. Steer clear of them OP.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 22:14:13 No.16403285 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>16403240
>Sure, don't walk up to people and say "hi, I have autism," but why would you conceal the fact if you are anonymously asking for socialization advice on an image board? It is relevant to the question, don't you think?

The reason why is because the idea of autism is not the centre of anything. It's not a condition, like cancer, which one can either have or not have. There's no underlying cause. So no, it's completely counterproductive to identify as autistic because it gives no significant information as to the person's condition because it is not itself an actual condition, with a stable underlying cause.

There's no linear cause and effect relationship there so no one will be able to give you real effectual advice.

Autism is just a myth which refers to a group of behaviours and symptoms. The actual singular and central cause of those behaviours and symptoms is something much deeper than a 'condition'. Conditions only happen to specific people, which go on to make a group of people. But autism doesn't happen to specific people. It happens to a group of people and then goes on to classify an entire sub-branch of the population. It's only the extremes and the most visible who constitute some sort of actual group.

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