Drink a lot of whiskey, eat a lot of processed and charred meat (bacon, heavily seared steak, etc), chainsmoke, get fat, don't work out, take IGF injections, don't eat fruits/veggies/whole grains. Eat a lot of sugar. Expose your cooking oils to sunlight and eat plenty of this oil after it has started smoking. Go to tanning salons frequently and get really, really tan. Sleep as little as possible.
