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I need advice regarding my needs and a long term relationship, I don’t know who to speak with IRL. So I was hoping that my first post can be helpful!>male, 20 years, DK >be in 2 years relationship, gf is female and 18 years >close to perfect relationship, but she lacks the motivation to do socially things with my social surroundings (friends, family, etc.) >fair enough, she does not have the same social needs that I do >had this party last saturday (went into town after a few hours of drinking) >my gf is not participating >my friend brings a girl (the only girl at the party before we go to town, a normal thing since my class had 26 boys and 1 girl) >believes she has a relationship with my friend, but I still go a little flirty, we speak, laugh, and play drinking games together >I don’t think my flirting was obvious, and it wasn’t really flirting >I never really got wasted, only fairly drunk, I remember everything from the night >me and a few friends + the girl dances, her friend left >she “hangs” on me, we get to talk more, and once we get real close >we got our heads twisted, like when you kiss, deep eye-contact (first time we were alone) >she wants to stay inside, but I want to go outside, the moment we break eye-contact and I move >she says, that she wished I did not have a relationship >go home earlier, because my cousin was not feeling well >feel like drinking more, so I drink more, alone, when I get home >I begin to feel that I’m missing some part of my life, by being in a relationship >almost had the wanting for one night stands, flirting with girls at bars and then doing something about it >I feel confident with girls, no problems there cont.... (1/2)
longtermboy
Quoted By:
>>16405964 cont… (2/2)
>so, my problem is, I want to have one night stands, try the night life for real >but I’m in a relationship that I could easily see go on for the rest of my life >and here is the tricky part, my gf is in a very complicated family situation, and I’m afraid that her life will fall apart if I leave her >she used to have self-esteem problems, and has a history of cutting herself >her parents aren’t supporting her >the father is fucked up, and have insulted my gf a hell lot, calling her the problem of family, stating that she is the reason the family is divided >my gf lives with her mom (sister and brother visits), but her mom is still with my gf’s father, so she regularly (2-4 days a week) visits the father, often leaving my gf home alone Bonus info:
>my gf is probably coming to a very stable part of her life, in the summer of 2017 >meaning, after that point, I would not be afraid of her life falling apart because she would be able to take care of herself So what do I do with my situation?
Have a break in the relationship? Con: I don’t believe that I will have all the freedom that I’m longing for
Propose an open relationship? - I highly doubt she would approve of this
Anonymous
One night stands fucking suck, sex doesn't even feel good if you don't have a connection Well in my opinion anyways. Could be different for anyone
longtermboy
Quoted By:
>>16405985 Never thought about that actually.
But I'm guessing that is also why I want more freedom than just a break, because I think I want to get to know the other person, fuck and have fun for a month, and then when it gets boring or before to many feelings arrive, leave.
Anonymous
>>16405964 >>16405964 >Gf 18 >Dont want to socialize >History of cutting herself Dump her, bad gf material and you do not seem to worship anyway. You should not have a gf when you are 20 unless she is the only one you desire.
OP har provet præcist det samme og mange år efter har jeg forstået at man ikke skal blive i et forhold hvor man ikke foler at det er 100% rigtigt. Hvis du som 20 årig gerne vil prove at leve det "unge" liv, så skal du gore det nu og ikke blive i et forhold som du ikke lyder helt glad for.
longtermboy
>>16406009 The problem is, I felt the relationship, 100 % until this weekend (where this happened)
And what about my gf? What if her life breaks apart?
longtermboy
Quoted By:
>>16406020 >>16406009 Alright, maybe not 100 %, but close to. I've had these feelings before, but not anything that was this strong. And I expected them to pass on.
Anonymous
>>16406020 >The problem is, I felt the relationship, 100 % until this weekend. You decide. The best idea is probably to wait and see. If this feeling does not disappear then consider the realtionship.
>And what about my gf? What if her life breaks apart? This might sound harsh but you cannot live your whole life worrying about other people. First of all; if you think the break up will be dangerous for your gf tell some of her family or 1 of her very good friends so they can act. 2nd, it might only be a bad phase and she will probably get over you she is only 18
longtermboy
>>16406034 Very good points regarding my gf's life, I did not think of that.
I was considering waiting until after new year, and see how the relationship is going by then. We have family dinners and shit in chrismas, and I feel / fear some tension coming.
Anonymous
>>16406042 >I was considering waiting until after new year, and see how the relationship is going by then. We have family dinners and shit in chrismas, and I feel / fear some tension coming. Yeah thats probably a good time frame. good luck
longtermboy
>>16406056 Well, thank you. And will probably need that luck, since you're from DK, can you mail me some more?
Anonymous
It's very apparent you don't care about your girlfriend that much. You meet one pretty skank and you're pretty much willing to throw it all away so you might as well go on with it. Your girlfriend can learn and grow from the situation, you can go on to have meaningless one night stands
Anonymous
longtermboy
>>16406072 Har skrevet til dig
Den indeholder, så du kan se at det er mig:
45jk95kj
Anonymous
>>16406092 ok sletter min post gider ikke at en spambot finder den!
longtermboy
Quoted By:
>>16406064 It's not about the skank, though we had a good chemistry. But I think it just triggered the emotions that was slowly creeping up on me. Who knows, it may also just be my mind making up excuses for letting one skank ruin it all.
Anonymous
>>16406092 har ikke modtaget en mail btw
scandinaviabrah
gmail.com longtermboy
Quoted By:
>>16406098 Jeg har et meget mere uddybende Google Docs dokument, du kan læse hvis du keder dig. En god ven fortalte mig at det kunne hjælpe at skrive mine folelser ned, så det gjorde jeg, og jeg må sige, det har faktisk hjulpet mig.
longtermboy
>>16406113 Nu?
Ellers så bare skriv til
[email protected] Anonymous
>>16406128 Den går igennem
longtermboy
Quoted By:
>>16406141 Jeg har ikke fået noget, prov lige
[email protected] Den er en lidt ældre spam konto, som fandt pass til
longtermboy
Quoted By:
>>16406141 Nvm, fik den nu