Sup /adv/. I am now just leaving a 5 year fight with escapism though the use of drugs, social isolation, relationship dependency, plans to kill myself or run away, literally. I changed to 3 different schools during high school, with my motive being to finish as fast as possible. I just wanted to leave.
It was all due to a long history of social anxiety and loneliness. I'm starting to feel like myself again but for 5 years I didn't focus on what I actually wanted and dropped all my interests and hobbies.
I finally made some actual friends but I'm so far behind on my interests that it's hard to relate because in those 5 years, my peers developed themselves.
I'm finally getting myself together again and now I feel stuck. I don't look back anymore very often, but when I do, I think of the friends I had in middle school that I left behind when I started losing my grip on reality. It fucking hurts a lot.
My question is, what should be my next step in keeping up with recovering? I love to socialize now, but I still have a bit of anxiety. My mindset has changed a lot and my mind is a lot quieter. Is there any good places or websites that can help me keep this positive streak?
I almost relapsed with the escapism yesterday but I was feeling blue. I hadn't cried in weeks and last night I almost did. I've thought about seeing a therapist or getting evaluated, but I'm not really sure what's going on with me. I'm just glad I'm getting better.