/b/ - Random » Thread #649275239

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Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 17:32:58 No.649275239 View Reply Report Delete

Hello /b/
I know that posting cringy stories about your love life is the birth right of the male /b/tard but I really have to share this with you. It's the story of how I lost my best friend and crush and it goes to show that women can do some really cringy stuff as well. It's a bit of a read so buckle up:

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 17:33:48 No.649275339 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>649275455

>>649275239
>19 y/o, 8/10 but kissless virgin because my parents are very strict and they never let me go out
>very low self esteem because of that, spend most of my teen years playing vidya, watching anime and not having a life
>move to a different city to go to uni, assigned to a girls only dorm
>make some friends, one of them is a girl called Fran
>she is a 5/10, chubby but with great big tits, also has a wicked sense of humour
>she had the most contagious laughter I've ever heard and you just wanted to make her laugh more and more
>she somehow manages to sleep around with a lot of guys but only has one night stands because she's very clingy and needy
>always teasing me because I'm so introverted and not saying much, decides to introduce me to "real life"
>because of her I start going to bars and clubs, start drinking alcohol for the first time ever
>she has this weird habit of calling me in the middle of the night to come out and talk (we live in the same dorm but different rooms)
>always the same story: "oh I hooked up with this guy and was supposed to meet him today but he hasn't showed up and won't answer my texts, why do guys only use me for sex?"
>listen to her, tell her that I wish I was a guy so I could treat her better
>typical white knight fedora tipping "m'lady" talk, you know the drill
>she's always drunk during these night time chats so we usually end up cuddling on the staircase of the dorm
>as time flies, I start developing a crush on her
>she comes from a poor family so most of the times I offer to cook for us
>I do all sorts of cheesy things, like wake up early in the morning to pick her flowers, then sneak into her dorm room to put them on her pillow
>I even give her money to buy herself booze and cigarettes when she goes out with her fuck friends, then patiently wait for her to come back crying and tell me how it all crashed and burned once more
>her room mates think we're a bunch of creepy lesbos
>don't give a shit, I fuckin' love this girl

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 17:34:48 No.649275455 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>649275783

>>649275339
cont'd

>fast forward to my 20th birthday
>friends decide to throw me a party at this rock club me and Fran spend most of our time
>Frand and I have this habit of going to the club and pretend to be lesbians so that guys buy us drinks
>works everytime
>the annoying bit is that she usually hooks up with one of the guys buying the drinks and ends up going to their place to have sex, while I have to go back to the dorm on my own because I'm too beta to tag along
>anyway, birthday night
>get super smashed
>dancing with Fran and pretending to be lesbians as per usual
>Fran is looking very hot and very frisky, starts grinding her tits all over me
>this is my moment
>decide to stop being a kissless loser, so I take her face in my hands and kiss her on the mouth
>really long French kiss
>not really knowing what I'm doing
>suddenly I feel something hard in my mouth so I turn around and spit it out
>next thing I know Fran is an all fours on the dancefloor looking for something
>turns out her 4 upper front teeth were fake and they somehow got detached and ended up in my mouth
>she miraculously manages to find her teeth and runs to the bathroom to put them back
>shrug it off
>at least I'm not kissless anymore yay
>strangely we still remain close friends

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 17:37:41 No.649275783 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>649276020

>>649275455
keep your pants on /b/ it gets worse:

>weeks pass, I meet this guy online
>looks and talks like your typical /b/tard neckbeard but I think he's kinda cute (only seen pics of his face)
>we start chatting over Yahoo Messenger, exchanging photos and sexting
>he lives at the opposite end of the country
>decide that now is a good time to lose my virginity so decide to pay him a visit
>around that time, Fran hooks up with this Belgian guy named Bart
>they're fuckbuddies but also good friends
>Bart is an Erasmus exchange students and he's got two bisexual mates, a Corsican and a Brazilian dude
>really awesome people and the 5 of us often hang out together at our usual club
>one nigh I get drunk and make out with Bart
>Fran is upset but she forgives me if I promise to stay away from him
>anyway, time to meet up my internet lover face to face
>internet bf lives in the same city as an old highschool friend so I decide to pay her a visit first
>her name is Marie and she's probably one of the most depressive people I have ever met in my life
>the two of us decide to go to the seaside for one day because it's Labour Day and it's some sort of national hippie tradition
>get there by train
>Marie is depressed as fuck because she's also a kissless virgin
>whole ride is very boring so I decide to take a break from her and go to the toilet
>on my way there, I pass one cart and I see that Bart and his friends are also going to the seaside
>"hey Femanon why don't you join us?"
>fuck yeah I will
>go back to Marie's cart and tell her I can't hang out with her because I met some friends and we have to split
>she starts crying because nobody loves her
>there's six other people in the cart so I decide to stay with her until we get to the seaside, to spare her the embarrassment of crying in front of strangers

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 17:39:32 No.649276020 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>649276235

>>649275783
cont'd, I think I'll just dump the whole thing and then go have a fag

>get to the seaside
>meet up with Bart and his mates and I wave bye-bye to Marie
>Bart is like "is that your friend, femanon? why don't you ask her to join us?"
>not in a mood for depressive Marie
>"nah I don't know who she is we just met on the train let's move along now"
>Labour Day beach party fuck yeah
>get super drunk, end up making out with Bart and all of his friends
>best day ever
>occasionally see Marie wandering the beach alone but pretend she doesn't exist
>Bart tries to have sex with me and as much as I wanted it to happen I chicken out and tell him I'm on my period
>sleep in a tiny tent with him and this other girl called Rosie, who was probably hoping to get some action that night
>next morning, sneak out of the tent
>see Bart's two friends passed out in the sand
>wtf happened last night?
>get on the train to the city where internet bf lives
>meet up in the park
>finally see him irl, he's tall but chubby and wears the typical black baggy clothes you see on socially autistic people when they go out
>we are both very awkward and beta, holy fuck it hurts to remember that time
>decide to spend two days at his place (luckily he has a job and a place of his own)
>first night, we're watching Spirited Away and he decides to get intimate
>get struck by virgin rigor mortis and just lay there while looking at the screen
>he fingers me through my panties for a good half an hour, then falls asleep
>next day we pretend nothing happened
>get some Chinese and decide to watch Transformers
>he starts fingering me again
>reach in his trousers and feel his boner through his underwear
>suddenly realize that this is a load of nonsense and I don't even like him that much
>tell him I'm on my period and he leaves me alone
>awkward silence for the rest of the day
>probably the most awkward time of my life
>leave in the morning and never speak to him again

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 17:39:51 No.649276066 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>649276544

Bump for twist ending

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 17:41:21 No.649276235 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>649276544

>>649276020
fuck this story is fukin long, thank god I typed it all in advance...

>get back to the dorm
>Fran asks how my date with internet bf went and if I lost my virginity
>don't want to look like an awkward failure in front of her so I told her that I met up with Bart on the train and we had sex at the seaside
>she is visibly devastated by this
>"how could you Femanon, you knew I had feelings for him"
>tell her whatevs, they were just fuckbuddies and he was free to fuck whoever he wanted
>not my fault he didn't want her as a gf
wtf is wrong with me /b/?
anyway...

>a year passes and I finally get a bf
>finally lose my virginity
>never had a bf before so I spend most of my time with him, fucking and playing vidya
>Fran is still mostly single and doing random hook-ups
>she's very jealous of the fact that I have a bf now and we don't spend much time together
>meanwhile, losing my virginity is suddenly the best thing that's happened to me
>suddenly not afraid of cocks anymore
>decide to use my new superpowers on Fran's ex's and love interests
>she's always warning me "I still have feelings for this guy please don't mess around with him"
>don't pay her any attention
>never do anything with these guys except kiss
>I think the reason behind this is the fact that I wanted to prove to her that I'm not some introverted loser and that she should have responded to my sexual advances before I got a bf rather than just pretending to be a lesbian to get drinks
>still have very strong feelings for her
>it's literally a miracle that we are still friends but oh well

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 17:43:45 No.649276544 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>649277125

>>649276066
no dinosaur spaghetti I'm afraid

>>649276235
>as time goes by I go into full whore mode and get a couple of fuckbuddies on the side
>after 4 years, bf finally has enough of me fucking around and we break up
>we still live together in a 2 room apartment because we can't afford to pay rent separately
>Fran has this ex bf called Chris, they were together for like a month but remained really close friends for many years to come (they still are)
>the three of us often hang out together
>there's always a bit of sexual tension between me and Chris and Fran picks up on it
>she's serious about this
>"Femanon I know you always do what you want but please don't sleep with Chris"
>yeah yeah whatevs
>Chris and I exchange phone numbers
>start going on dates
>I'm not really that attracted to him (because he's shorter than me) but he is kinda cute and I would like to test my female prowess on him
>he himslef says that he's not sure if he's actually attracted to me or just sexually intrigued
>technicalities
>one night we decide to finally sleep together
>we sneak into my apartment
>ex bf is awake
>he's like "oh hello Chris what's up?"
>spends about 1 hour chatting him
>it's 2 in the morning and my ex knows exactly what's happening but decides to be a prick
>pull him aside and tell him to fuck off, we're not together anymore and he needs to move on with his life
>Chris and I go to my room
>awkwardly start kissing and undressing each other
>he has the smallest cock I have ever seen in my life
>omg what the fuck am I doing?
>decide to sleep with him anyway, thinking I will hurt his feelings if I don't
>he's flaccid as baby food so I decide to give him a bj to get the mood going
>he's using these apple flavoured condoms
>tfw flavoured condom bj ruins the taste of apple flavoured candy forever
>we somehow have sex
>it is the most miserable act in the history of intercourse
>never again

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 17:47:18 No.649276998 Report Delete

Quoted By:

OP here, is anyone actually reading this wall of text? Might post tits later to keep the thread from going 404 before anyone gets to finish the story.
Anyway, last bit is coming up:

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 17:48:15 No.649277125 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>649277304

>>649276544
>I have no idea how it happened, but Fran found out about me and Chris
>she gets ultra mad
>calls both of us to visit her at work (she works in a clothes store) and proceeds to shout at us
>Chris is just standing there like a knob
>I go into autist denial mode and stare into the void while I pretend this isn't really happening
>she shouts at us for a good hour
>we're in the storage room so nobody can come to our rescue
>in the end, she has to get back to work so we manage to escape
>Chris gives a laugh and just shrugs it off
>"she'll get over it Femanon, don't worry"
>weeks pass
>she never responds to my texts
>visit her at work a couple of times, but she just has a smoke and pretends I'm not there while I try to apologize
>months pass
>she somehow forgives Chris and they are friends again, though it's clear that their friendship is not what it used to be
>still upset with me
>after a whole year, she agrees to go out for drinks
>start apologizing to her and explain that I've been a selfish whore and a horrible friend
>she stares at me
>"so what, should I just forgive you now because you bought me some drinks and apologized so nicely? you're a selfish person and you did this to spite me, I've always asked you not to go for the guys I liked but you always did anyway, wtf is wrong with you?"
>yes but that was in the past pls forgive
>she walks away

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 17:49:28 No.649277304 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>649277125
>another year passes
>meet up with her for drinks one the last time
>she looks tired and worn
>still single, but her sense of humour is gone and all is left is this cynical and sarcastic view she now has of everything
>can't help feeling that this is all my fault
>feel like dying inside as I understand that there is absolutely nothing in the world I can do to make up for what happened
>worse of all is understanding that I didn't even have a legitimate excuse for the way I behaved other than my selfishness and using the need to overcome my insecurities as an excuse for every stupid thing I ever did

I still love her /b/ and miss her like fuck, she was the best friend I ever had. I know she can never forgive me and I'm not asking you to forgive me either. I guess that what I'm trying to do is punish myself through public humiliation in front of the most judgemental strangers I could think of.

The end.

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