Quoted By:
>Be me, 19 yrs of age
>At College to have a co-op meeting
>Went to eat pizza since I'm as hungry as a goddamn ethiopian on a fasting diet
>notice immigrant is working there
>he suggested that I should try the spicy pizza he made but looks a day old
>decide to buy three slices, two jizz coloured dips and chocolate milk
>sitting in cafeteria devouring everything
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>get a bad case of niggeritis
>sleep, wake up, go to meeting
>stomach rumbles but ignore it
>sit down at atrium listening to co-op counsellor
>all of a sudden feel a stabbing sensation in my stomach
>unknowingly stood up from the pain
>Me: "I'll be back"
>Counsellor: "Ok"
>the pain and sweat intensifies
>start swearing under my breath from the pain
>Counsellor: "Excuse me! What did you say?"
>she thinks I'm talking to her
>Me: "Babbity Boo Bye Bye!"
>initiate sprint to bathroom mode with my ass and thighs clenched tightly
>go to nearest stall and plant my sweaty ass on the toilet
>almost slip off due to the slickness caused by my ass sweat
>nonstop of liquid magma erupts from my melting asshole
>take off clothes since I'm sweating buckets
>person beside me in another stall asks me if I'm alright
>stupid asshole doesn't know what I'm going through
>pray to God, Buddha, Zeus, Shrek, Flying Spaghetti Monster and whatever is out there
>shit subsides to a trickle
>I sigh in relief, thinking I've survived the impossible
>stomach makes a sound like a dying whale
>realize I'm about to vomit so I turn around on all fours and release whatever is left in my stomach
>realize I forgot to flush
>toilet is painted of pizza, stomach acid and blood
>I gasp for air
>Me: "Delete my browser history..."
>I pass out on the floor naked feeling like I got shish kabobbed by a lava dick demon
>nobody would help me since I'm a nigger
>wake up some time later
>hold breath while wiping ass and crawl to flush toilet since hot air rises
>get dressed and clean as much as I can
>go to class to pass out again
>mfw
