Hi /b/, I've fucked myself up mentally and I don't know what to do.

>Be me, 15
>Be 'muh smart but lazy' - actually just a dumbass
>Be usual social failure, unattractive and awkward
>No one liked me, but I desperately wanted to be liked
>Was mopey most of the time and felt like a piece of shit
>Decided only solution was to stop wanting things I couldn't get
>Made myself long list of justifications as to why
>People who party and do drugs are morally bankrupt
>There's no point in dating at all before you find the right girl
>Sex is animalistic, and not something to be pursued in and of itself
>That sort of thing
>It works, be content with life and start actually working and succeeding in school
>Now three years later, about to go to uni
>Be more or less attractive
>Be successful
>Have developed social skills (because I wasn't intimidated by anyone)

So what's the problem? I still believe the shit I told myself years ago. I cannot find anyone attractive and I can't really say I can even imagine someone I'd like to date.I look down upon almost everyone I meet. I hate people who can't enjoy themselves without altering their mental state with chemicals, and who are totally incapable of having conversation about so-called 'important issues' - ie history, politics, etc.

TL;DR - played mental games with myself, still believe most of it on a subconscious level, can't connect to people now that I have a chance to.

What do?

Also, general life stories thread.