>>8680027Well, first of all, apologizes if it reeks too much of blogging.
I've moved to Toronto very, very recently. Less than 3 months. Before that, I spent my whole life in another country. I'm still getting used to a culture completely from mine, so even if I walked around the city occasionally, it is still a bit hard to summon enough courage to go a meeting. This brings me to the next point: I'm a considerably shy person (I took medicine at one point in my life), specially when it comes to meeting people I've never met. So it'd be a challenge to go there and have to introduce myself to other people.
I went to this meeting with some people from another board recently and there were times I didn't introduce myself or reply to a few of them because of how nervous I was. I felt like locking myself up in a bathroom (it all worked out though). Now, there's also the fact that it's a lolita meeting (duh). It relates a lot with appearance, and I'm not very confident in my coord (even though I got good feedback from the coord thread) as I actually got started into the whole hobby not very long ago.
Then there are two important things: I'm not a girl ;_; (not trans though). even though I'm very androgynous (smaller than the average height, very thin, small waist, soft facial features, etc.) and my voice is fairly neutral, it still makes me nervous to go outside wearing a dress, mainly because I live in a residence, so I'm scared of people from my floor seeing me when I go to, or come back from the meeting. I mean, even if I'm passable, many see me everyday, so I'm still scared of bullying or some kind of ostracizing. I know I should just not care, but it's hard. There's a bunch of anti-bullying rules in my res but it's not like this can stop me from being excluded. I don't know, everything in the end weighs on my back and I feel like just staying in my small room.
