/ck/ - Food & Cooking » Thread #7019078

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Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 02:52:26 No.7019078 View Reply Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7019091 >>7019099 >>7019119 >>7019128 >>7019129 >>7019151 >>7019170 >>7019172 >>7019188 >>7020249 >>7020281 >>7020573 >>7020583 >>7020713 >>7021067 >>7025616

How do I open my craft beer cans at 2am without disturbing my sleeping parents?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 02:55:07 No.7019083 Report Delete

Quoted By:

use your teeth while covering with your inside elbow

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 02:57:09 No.7019091 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019078

Go outside and open it, you lazy nigger.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 02:58:58 No.7019099 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019078
go to your closet and take a blanket with you and open it very slowly with the blanket covering up the can.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 03:01:37 No.7019107 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7019112 >>7019161

you can't, that's how I got busted again. I can't go outside or they'll hear me and think I'm sneaking out to smoke weed or buy booze after they fall asleep. sneak off when they aren't home, buy vodka in a plastic travellers bottle and hide it in a dirty laundry hamper

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 03:04:31 No.7019112 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7019118 >>7023107

>>7019107
also, good luck getting rid of those noisy cans. the third time I got caught I crushed them all with my foot but they still stunk and made noise. If you get a plastic travellers liqour bottle you can hide it inside an empty cheese nips box in the trash.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 03:08:14 No.7019118 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7019121

>>7019112
i'm afraid to ask how old you are because i'm sure any answer would be equally depressing

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 03:08:32 No.7019119 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019078
Dont live with your parents you fucking leech

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 03:10:42 No.7019121 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019118
I'm 29.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 03:13:37 No.7019128 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019078
Get parents who aren't complete tools.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 03:14:02 No.7019129 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019078
Learn how to position a pillow over it in just the right way. It'll barely make a sound.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 03:14:10 No.7019130 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7019160

9.2/10 bait thread

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 03:23:00 No.7019151 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019078
Pierce the can with a ballpoint pen and drain the sweet liquor into a glass/your mouth.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 03:36:23 No.7019160 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019130
this is not bait, I am seriously low on good boy points and can't afford to lose any.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 03:37:45 No.7019161 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019107
hahaha damn youre intense anon

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 03:46:38 No.7019170 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7019172

>>7019078
Put your fedora over the can before opening it

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 03:48:49 No.7019172 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019078
>>7019170
Real talk though I just don't drink until they're asleep. I can even go out for 40s if I run out

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO cormbreat.jpg, 72KiB, 800x536

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 04:02:23 No.7019188 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7019250 >>7025095

>>7019078
ok bro Im 22 now but I learned when I was young. I got you.

start prying the can open like youre about to break the seal of the can, then as lightly as you can break the seal the tiniest bit but dont go any further. at this point, you can use your thumbnail to press against the mostly still sealed opening part and pry it down relatively quietly. BEST OF LUCK

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 04:03:05 No.7019190 Report Delete

Quoted By:

Subtle.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 05:00:16 No.7019250 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019188
>tfw no chubby dixie wife so I can eat cormbreat and pork & beans

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 05:30:30 No.7019285 Report Delete

Quoted By:

stab it with a knife and pour into a glass

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 05:44:07 No.7019303 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7020214

Are the posters in this thread underage or just manchildren?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 14:06:34 No.7020214 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7020249

>>7019303
I'm 42 what does that count as?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 14:18:45 No.7020249 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7020214
pedophile tbh

>>7019078
drink wodka, no cans required

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 14:26:16 No.7020281 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019078
Put a bath/shower towel over it, that'll quiet the opening.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 15:47:53 No.7020522 Report Delete

Quoted By:

Whatchu drinking fam?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 16:02:23 No.7020573 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019078
>get education
>get job
>get own place
>open your beer can in peace

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 16:08:00 No.7020583 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019078
Take it onto the bathroom and open it with the tap running, or the toilet flushing.
Smash half of it down, put it in your pocket, and cover the top of it with your sweatshirt before you walk out.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 16:49:52 No.7020713 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019078
Unlike everyone else in this thread, I'm not going to question your living arrangements.

On the other hand: do your parents keep their beer in their fucking bedroom? Open the can somewhere they're not.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 19:03:39 No.7021067 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019078
Cover the can with a thick blanket and open it. This will baffle the noise.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 21:19:24 No.7021417 Report Delete

Quoted By:

I will take these suggestions into considerations, hopefully I am successful, will report back.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 07:14:34 No.7022871 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7023722 >>7025058

fuck u all dad caught me, now I'm grounded and on weekly penis inspections.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 10:12:16 No.7023107 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7025035

>>7019112
Hang in there bro. Soon your parents will get worse hearing, that'll make it easier. But of course I also have my attic privilege, that makes it easier to hide the sound of opening cans. 33 yo here btw. They usually bust me when I flush the toilet several times in a short time though (no matter how many years of practice I get I never developed the ability to not constantly need to piss when drinking). That's why I recommend only one strong craft beer and let the rest of it be hard liquor. You won't have to piss nearly as much.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 14:03:58 No.7023722 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7022871
At least he's not giving you a nightly anal probe to make sure you're not hiding more beer cans up there.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 21:42:35 No.7025035 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7025086 >>7025547

>>7023107
>not pissing into bottles and hiding them under your bed, then empy them in the yard after they go to work in the morning

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 21:50:51 No.7025058 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7022871
Are you still allowed to practice your falconry?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 21:58:07 No.7025086 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7025527

>>7025035
........ I thought I was the only one.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 22:00:53 No.7025095 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019188
What would happen if I mixed beer into a standard cornbread recipe?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 23:53:43 No.7025527 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7025086
ur not alone tbh fam

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 00:02:20 No.7025547 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7025035
...I actually do this. My dad called me out for pissing every 20 minutes so I just use a nalgene bottle and dump it after he goes to work. Weekends are difficult though, it only holds so much.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 00:24:05 No.7025603 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7025658

>position can on chair securely between your thighs
>hold the top tightly with left hand and hook right index finger onto tab
>carefully break seal using left hand to regulate the force
>press onto opening with left thumb and slowly release carbonation
>use index finger to assist for appropriate amount of force
>starting on the bottom press firmly with left thumb on the seal
>proceed along the seal until it has been fully opened

the technique i developed after getting out of rehab

be careful to keep the opening pressed down or it'll pop

no audible hiss or crack, if they aren't in the room they won't hear it

takes some practice to perfect but it's very reliable

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1444029909758.gif, 84KiB, 253x230

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 00:26:54 No.7025616 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7019078
Meat of your thumb's palm over the lip, put it under a downy blanket or pillow/blanket combo, crack it slightly to let out the fizz, then open the rest of the way. Works the first time, every time.

Then again, I have some pretty big mitts, but I still do this to this day whenever I'm drinking on a couch, ingrained from all the 30 racks I drank at my parent's house.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 00:45:53 No.7025658 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7025666

>>7025603
>the technique i developed after getting out of rehab

im guessing that didn't go so well for you

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 00:49:09 No.7025666 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>7027660

>>7025658
i never wanted to quit, just stop drinking as much

now i'm not drinking as much so i guess it worked

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 18:21:34 No.7027660 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>7025666
>not sucumbing to your raging alcoholism

pleb

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