its crushing for me to admit to myself that i actually said this

>about a month ago
>friday night date with girl of my dreams, both 18
>shes an easy 8/10 looks and 10/10 smarts
>im a hard pushed 5/10
>things go pretty bad, not horrible but uncomfortable
>i'm saying stupid shit the entire night in idiotic attempts to impress
>entire time she is nothing but lovely in the face of my catastrophic social skills
>gets to the end of the night and im well aware i've made a weirdo of myself on multiple occasions
>lets exercise some honesty.jpg
>me: "hey im sorry i've been such a weirdo tonight, i dont know why.. etc"
> her: "no no! not at all etc. I would never think you're weird."
> me "well i could take a shit and smear it on my face then you'd think me pretty weird"
?????????
>actual quote word for word. those 10 seconds are burnt into my mind for eternity
>from what i recall she mumbles something like "thats is pretty weird.." and leaves soon after
i went on like a week bender after that just to forget that moment

/fit/ how does one fuck up this bad? how is this within realms of possibility to be this fucking autistic?