I saw President Obama at a GNC in West Hartford, Connecticut yesterday. I told him that it was an honor to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” His secret service guards gave each other high fives and laughed after the statement.

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Quest Cookie Dough bars in his hands without paying.

The bro at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Mr.President, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. His guards bucked at the receptionist and gave smug looks, grabbed a tub of celltech, opened it and dumped the powder over the guy's head.

When he took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped and told him to wipe his tears and scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical interference,” and then turned around and winked at me. After he scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting him by yawning really loudly.