Just learn from whatever resource you're learning to. The fundamentals need to be learned either way so learn them and stop worrying about convincing people that you're not a beginner when you are.
You will write clunky programs filled with spaghetti code. You will write code that isn't anywhere near approaching what a professional, paid programmer would produce in terms of quality or clarity. But you're literally starting out right now so that's not a problem.
Stop tripping over yourself trying to do everything right, all the time. It's OK to take the wrong steps in a few directions along the way. You will get better over time. There are books specifically dedicated to writing 'clean code' but you have to learn the basics first.
Paralysis by analysis is real, and can be crippling, but you just have to remind yourself "It's OK if I'm shit now; if I keep going, keep pushing through, keep reading, keep writing and keep trying then I will improve".
Along the way, you can get people to critique your code on places like Reddit where people will give you comprehensive, useful feedback for free which will stop you falling into majorly bad habits. I'm not joking, Reddit isn't the boogeyman. If you actually want useful advice and not ebin maymays then learn to use it (and other sites beyond 4chan).
