>>51087513Well, I don't feel a need to justify myself to you, but, since you asked so familiarly (thou), I'll tell you.
I have decided I want to.
(However, there's a lot of times when there's things I want to do, but don't do them as soon as I'd like to. I've had a lot going on in my life, and, personal illness which has weakened me so I couldn't do much (not even go visit my family to check on my cat who I was increasingly worried about, but, I've thought a bit about that, and, well, her time had come, it was her time to die, basically). I don't think it's going to get any worse, actually, the illness which was weakening me. I think it reached it's worst point when I felt sick on monday, slept ~12-14 hours early Tuesday after what really didn't feel like so much sleep (it felt more like 4 or 5 hours, I've had sleeps like this before, but have never woken up feeling so awful in my entire life), feeling absolutely awful, deathly sick, dizzy, headache, sore, nauseous, looked at myself in the mirror to see I didn't look alright, it's lucky I didn't trip wondering around my house with a headache, wondering why I felt so ill, actually. The sort of despair I was experiencing when I woke up, was pretty bad (I didn't even know my cat was dead, it was about my own life/death). While I don't know this to be the case, the discoloration and everything else could have in fact been, for all I know, me literally waking up from the dead. My invisible bf wept for how cruel and unfair it would be if I died right then. I was crying about how pointless my life is, cried that I had no friends. This is when my cat approached me as a catgirl ghost and told me she'd be my friend. I didn't even know she was dead yet, but noted that while I didn't recognize that person, they were acting much like my cat did when she was still alive and then wept for the implications of that, later found out my cat IS dead.)
I'm going to, but everything always takes more time than I think it will.
