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My good friend, Qui-Gon Jinn, died in a lightsaber accident 14 years ago. He's dead and gone. Coruscant's his favourite place. I'm gonna build him a jetboarding park.
You don't have be a force user to be a Jedi. Andrew Shramberg is a Jedi.
My other good friend, Anakin, is on the dark side again. He's back in the death star for his sixteenth time. Good luck with that one.
Sick of the bullshit. Sick of all this shit. I don't go out anymore, 'cause I hate every motherfucker. I don't care what they're up to. Fourteen years I wasted, sippin' on drinks at the cantina, chit-chatting with fucking nerf herders. Now I stay at home, like a fucking hermit. I'm not gonna take any shit from anyone.
I know what's going on. I got set up. They had the high ground. Thank God C3PO wasn't there to watch me get my fucking ass kicked. He would have wound up with a cracked eye and probably went to detention block AA-23. He has a big mouth.
I live for this shit. I love it. Bring it the fuck on.
Payback's a bitch, motherfucker.
