Quoted By:
I was on a sports social at a Russell Group uni, and since I had a 9am the next day I hadn’t intended to drink much. I felt tipsy upon entering the club, and ordered one last drink at the bar. After having this drink I don’t remember a thing, so I’m not sure if I was spiked or if everything caught up with me, but while mind-blanks are normal for me with alcohol, this was an extreme case.
I had just started speaking to and kind of seeing someone who was aware that I don’t have sex with people I’m not dating — and given that I’ve never been in a relationship, I was particularly protective. Despite this, I woke up in the morning to be greeted by him telling me we had slept together. I thought he was joking because I didn’t remember and I felt nothing. Normally even when drunk I’m in control of myself in those type of situations, and most importantly for me, boys normally respect my views.
It’s difficult to know how the night played out, but I know I wouldn’t have consented sober (even though we had started seeing each other it was too early on and we weren’t officially dating). He apologised and I let it slide but made sure to be more aware in the future. After he tried it on again while he was sober I stopped talking to him because I felt there was no respect for me or my views. Only when talking to my best friend did I realise that this could count as rape or sexual assault due to the lack of official consent alcohol creates, and wouldn’t be surprised if the same has happened to others.
I only spoke to friends about it due to the shock of it happening and the mixed reactions I received. Several boys I told essentially found it amusing and said things along the lines of “it takes two to tango” and “you must have been up for it at the time”. Even some girls said things like “you can’t pretend it didn’t happen because you regret it”.
I previously believed in no sex before marriage so this wasn’t an ideal way to lose my virginity.
