I had an epiphany today. I realized that I have been living in denial. Yes, I was only fooling myself. As much as it pains me to admit it I have to face the truth that, yes, I am an addict.

I don't know how I got here. It was a slow process. So slow that it snuck up on me. I didn't see it coming. But now, looking back, it is so clear, the slow evolution. The steady progression to more and more powerful and addictive vices.

Like all youth I thought that I was immune. That I could handle it. I started out small. Just a little .22. And occasionally a .410. But that was it. And I was satisfied with that. But with all addictions, you have to eventually up the ante. It takes a stronger and stronger dose to get the same thrill.

And of course my so-called "friends" were always there to introduce me to the next level. They said "Hey man you gotta try this. It's a rush!!!" It wasn't long before I had graduated to 30-30 and 12 ga.