>>5150972Good thing you're not one of those who need to be told to see a therapist, cause what the hell.
I can relate a lot to your story, and I've been 21 aswell back then. In fact my story is pretty much the very same. Didn't let myself get impressed by the anti trans posts though, but my apathy was more because I tried to tell myself nah I'm just a r9k beta fag and all of this is a normal phase to go through I'll man up and call some girl to hang out.
So, yeah, did that, had some fun, then over the weeks and months I noticed how it kept haunting me, tried to experiment with clothes and even latex and figured that's not really my thing but at the same time I noticed how I really much more felt like a girl. I was also childishly eager to be some special snowflake and be just an amazing girl all around, but oh boy did I dive head first into the worst nightmare ever.
Now my depressions are worse, I've grown an anxiety, lost my job cause it brought me into the psychiatry several times, am unable to work because of the anxiety and even going to the supermarket is a big pain. had a breakdown today after finishing my shopping and cried.
I've been over 2 years in supervision and still self-med to this day cause shrinks just refuse to be helpful, I'm good money either way.
I'm now also confronted with the likelihood that I'll become homeless sometime in 2016 but I priorize FFS cause else I'm just gonna end up killing myself anyway, so perhaps with FFS eventually happening and if I ever manage to speak my female voice, I could find me some small job to survive the time until SRS.
You're in for a ride. Good luck.