/lgbt/ - LGBT » Thread #5122445

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93KiB, 605x606, baily jay amy schumer.jpg

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 14:52:50 No.5122445 View Reply Report Delete

Quoted By: >>5122456 >>5122546 >>5124546 >>5124778 >>5125151 >>5132021 >>5132160

>try to enema so i can try anal play
>15 mins later think im done and start
>accidentally fart shit water all over the bed

do i kill myself now or later?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 14:55:45 No.5122454 Report Delete

Quoted By:

Wait, you were using the enema for 15 mins, then immediately went to sticking stuff up your ass?
Idiot.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 14:55:51 No.5122456 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>5122445
that's just gay passage of adulthood. Congrats you're officially a fully matured fag now :3

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 14:56:10 No.5122459 Report Delete

Quoted By:

Just get a new bed

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 15:13:46 No.5122522 Report Delete

Quoted By:

My first time having sex, she puked all over me. First times can get nasty, just learn your lesson.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 15:22:16 No.5122546 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>5122583

>>5122445
>Amy's FW someone who used to be a man is more attractive then her

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 15:32:01 No.5122566 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>5135965

Amy Schumer's face always looks like she's having an allergic reaction. Somebody get this woman an epi pen already, for God's sake.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 24 Oct 2015 15:35:49 No.5122583 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>5122546
This tbh fam

KellyVee

KellyVee Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:18:07 No.5124546 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>5124550

>>5122445
Surprisingly have experience in this area well before I did anal play.
A cleaning out can usually take a good 45 minutes, if you start before everything is out you'll have a brown fountain. I always suggest getting a decent sized, gravity fed, enema bag.

Btw don't switch sides you're laying on, or just stay upright. If you get water into the depending colon (you get hot and cold flashes,) its not an enema anymore. You're looking at a colonic, and takes quite awhile to clean out well without the proper equipment.

KellyVee

KellyVee Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:19:08 No.5124550 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>5124546
Decending* fml autocorrect

n Sun 25 Oct 2015 00:50:31 No.5124650 Report Delete

Quoted By:

HAHAHAHAHA, IM SORRY .LOLOLOLOL

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 01:03:41 No.5124673 Report Delete

Quoted By:

Squirt cold water in afterwards and it will trigger peristalsis and expel the excess water.
I always end off my enemas with ice cold water.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 01:07:47 No.5124685 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>5124687

I had remove a kidney and was administered a enema before the operation, it's the only time I've done one.
I had to lay in the fetal position, the tube or whatever was quite long, I feel sorry for the young woman who had to do it, and then she massaged my stomach slightly after. then she told me to do squats and walk around for at least half an hour. if I felt a push she told me to clench. if I could hold it longer than half an hour that was good, but no requirement.

I can't remember how long I sat on the toilet for, but near the end it was just clear water coming out.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 01:08:49 No.5124687 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>5124685
had to remove*

Lilith Lovett !/mc/OrMeow

Lilith Lovett !/mc/OrMeow Sun 25 Oct 2015 01:42:50 No.5124778 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>5125056

>>5122445
This is like among one of the biggest things I fear, hence why it takes like an hour for me to clean up.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 01:46:43 No.5124795 Report Delete

Quoted By:

Goodness anal sex is disgusting, and far too much effort.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 04:03:37 No.5125056 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>5126361

>>5124778

I would think your biggest fear would be hideous scars.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 04:54:03 No.5125151 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>5125306

>>5122445

Those 'women' in your image looks worst than the shit-water I shart out when I give myself an enema.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 06:45:22 No.5125291 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>5126408 >>5127743

>anal play
>Enemas
>anons blaming technique and giving tips

This is why /lgbt/ is cancer. Unless you are going to be sitting on a foot+ long dido or riding a cock for literally hours you don't need to enema you just need to douche.

>www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=IXBUv-G564-

I've been using a technique like this for my entire life and could count the number of accidents on one hand.

It's not that enemas are wrong, you're just setting yourself up for failure if you're inexperienced, there's much more that can go wrong with them. So unless your anal play involves a fist or like, 5 guys, just save everyone involved the hassle and douche properly.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 07:07:44 No.5125306 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>5125151
lol Amy Schumer is cis

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 10:56:32 No.5125790 Report Delete

Quoted By:

You have to put water in your ass and then shit it. You've to do it until you shit clean water. But hell, don't keep the water in, dumbass.

Lilith Lovett !/mc/OrMeow

Lilith Lovett !/mc/OrMeow Sun 25 Oct 2015 13:14:34 No.5126361 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>5125056
Jokes on you! I already got hideous sca- ..Oh.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 13:22:46 No.5126408 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>5125291
you stick shit in your ass? that's fucking gay

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 18:00:44 No.5127743 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>5125291
It might be a regional thing where I am "douche" almost always means "vaginal-douche" and "enema" is for anything short of a full on colonic.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 18:17:37 No.5127833 Report Delete

Quoted By:

No fuckin way. The joke is, she knows.
Whould pay to watch.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 17:35:54 No.5132021 Report Delete

Quoted By: >>5135992

>>5122445
Americans are creepy because they smile with their mouth instead of their eyes.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 17:39:20 No.5132040 Report Delete

Quoted By:

this picture makes me so hard

the look in her eye, you just KNOW they banged

linetrap is known to be THE most hung tranny in hollywood, possibly one of the biggest in the world. xir cock has been described as "like an evian bottle", with gargantual thickness that would rival shane diesel and shorty mac. im estimating xir size to be at least 8.5" bone pressed, with OVER 7" of girth. he would have absolutely destroyed schumer's pussy.

they would have spent hours and hours on foreplay, getting herself wet enough just so she can take it. i can just imagine her begging for it, with line barely able to force it past the knob, and schumer moaning and squirming, demanding xir to force it in deeper. she would have orgasm'd within seconds of taking the entire length, being filled and stretched right up to her cervix, her g-spot getting pounded to the rhythm of a bongo. the orgasm would have been powerful, with her vaginal muscles clamping down on traps throbbing monstrosity, her whole body quivering in euphoria..

i bet she still masturbates to the memory of it

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 17:42:19 No.5132050 Report Delete

Quoted By:

Cant relate to this enema shit.
90% of my shits are solid no-wipers and i clean a lil bit on the inside when i shower. My ass is always clean after a shit n shower. You fags just need to eat more fiber.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 18:09:06 No.5132160 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>5122445
Later.
First you must remove all evidence of failure.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 15:42:18 No.5135965 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>5122566
This is what a dying liver due to alchy looks like

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 15:52:51 No.5135992 Report Delete

Quoted By:

>>5132021
Lol.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 16:15:44 No.5136057 Report Delete

Quoted By:

Kinda related
Does anyone know of a company that produces high quality 4qt (1 gallon) silicone enema bags and double balloon nozzles? I tried Klystra but they refunded my money and I think they're now out of business. I know of Cleanstream but their products are made in China so materials and processes are questionable.

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