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Quoted By: >>5134656
Alright so back in June Houston held its LGBT Pride Parade in downtown Houston. I walked in that parade. But before I walked in that parade something happened and its been fucking with me ever since then.
I was new to the parade and I came alone. I had no idea what I was going to do, who I would talk to, or what I would do to feel more at home in my own skin. And then while searching for people to chat with I instantly felt connected with this group of boys I was chatting with.....Now you have to understand, I dont like hanging with boys.....they scare me, make me feel uncomfortable and I cant talk with them, dont know how they function, cant do it. So for me to be standing there chatting away with them was not only rare and out of character but nothing felt wrong despite my usually hanging with ciswomen and connecting with them better.
Eventually I decide to go looking for the transgender float (a lackluster giant silver colored letter T) and I end up surrounded in my fellow transwomen and I.....I dont feel comfortable.....I see these women as women but....something doesnt feel right....I dont understand why I feel so different and outcast by my fellow transwomen.....so I isolate myself for a bit.....
Eventually it starts getting darker....and the boys from before walk over to where Im at and start chatting with me again.......right before taking off their shirts.....and revealing their binders....
I had clocked them.....and I didnt know how or why.......I saw them as men and was even hitting on the black guy......and yet somehow I felt more connected with them then with the transwomen around me......I sensed that I could connect with them.....something I can normally only do with cis-women....and they were transmen...
Has anything like this ever happened to someone else here? And how did you deal with it? Like.....how do you continue on with your life after knowing that you can be clocked by people even when people cant tell that you were born another gender?
I was new to the parade and I came alone. I had no idea what I was going to do, who I would talk to, or what I would do to feel more at home in my own skin. And then while searching for people to chat with I instantly felt connected with this group of boys I was chatting with.....Now you have to understand, I dont like hanging with boys.....they scare me, make me feel uncomfortable and I cant talk with them, dont know how they function, cant do it. So for me to be standing there chatting away with them was not only rare and out of character but nothing felt wrong despite my usually hanging with ciswomen and connecting with them better.
Eventually I decide to go looking for the transgender float (a lackluster giant silver colored letter T) and I end up surrounded in my fellow transwomen and I.....I dont feel comfortable.....I see these women as women but....something doesnt feel right....I dont understand why I feel so different and outcast by my fellow transwomen.....so I isolate myself for a bit.....
Eventually it starts getting darker....and the boys from before walk over to where Im at and start chatting with me again.......right before taking off their shirts.....and revealing their binders....
I had clocked them.....and I didnt know how or why.......I saw them as men and was even hitting on the black guy......and yet somehow I felt more connected with them then with the transwomen around me......I sensed that I could connect with them.....something I can normally only do with cis-women....and they were transmen...
Has anything like this ever happened to someone else here? And how did you deal with it? Like.....how do you continue on with your life after knowing that you can be clocked by people even when people cant tell that you were born another gender?
