I've pretty much intensely questioned my gender for months now (1 year in december).
I think it'd be really stupid to state that "looking back it was obvious" since now under this new questioning light I could make connections that really don't mean anything, but a lot of people that know me and have known me for years say that I've always really tried to push myself away from "being a girl", girly things, and the like as a child (I did have a couple of girl toys and such, but I always denied them being for girls), and tried my best to look tough and manly.
My voice always surprises me when I speak, as well as looking in the mirror does, or at any sort of reflection, not to mention how I constantly forget that I have boobs and get even more surprised when I remember they're there. When looking to my future, I can't imagine myself being a woman there, the thought of it is really scary and desperating, while the thought of being a man is much more calm and seems more fitting.
If I were cis, I wouldn't be doubting myself so much, right? Am I just trying to convince myself of something that's not real?

TL;DR: Am I FtM or nah?
Pic unrelated