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Anyone here technically one sexual orientation but functionally another?

I know I have to be bisexual, technically, because sometimes I find men attractive, even develop crushes. But I've tried dating them/having sex with them and it's always gross as fuck. I really do not like penis and excessive body hair. I'm not really into the male body at all, it's just sort of gross and unappealing. But I do sometimes get crushes on dudes, based on personality, so I can't be 100% lesbian.

But in terms of everything practical, I'm 100% lesbian. I'm attracted to women in every way, I like vagoo, I like fucking women. So I mostly just call myself lesbian.

But I also kinda feel like I'm lying.

Anyone know this feel?