being gay ruins your life. I feel so fucking ashamed of myself. It's like I fucking did something I can't take back. My whole family thinks I'm gay and I don't want that. I feel like I can simply never redeem myself and it's not that I'm homophobic. I come to this board all the time and I mostly go to lgbt chat rooms. I have nothing against gay people at all and I support them. I just don't want to be thought of as gay myself, it makes me feel so sick. I just want to go somewhere where no one knows me and start a new life. I feel so awful for every pursing gay thoughts in the first place.