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Does any else feel like they're transgender (or at least AGP) *because* they're depressed - not the other way around? I'm not saying this is the case for all, or even most, transgender people. But it certainly seems like the case for me.>Start crossdressing for the first time mere months after one of my parents died >I've been diagnosed with moderate depression >Recently been thinking more about why I (still) do it >The "need" is at its strongest when I'm either outright depressed and sad, or very anxious and insecure (which is a symptom of depression) >In line with this, the "need" is even stronger when I've been smoking pot - which always makes me anxious and paranoid >The "need" is lower or completely attenuated when I drink any form of alcohol, which always makes me feel more secure and self confident (duh) >So I tried an experiment: I smoked some weed and planned to cross dress. The paranoia and anxiety crept in, and so a few minutes later I chugged down a few beers. I will still high as fuck, but the alcohol took the edge off the anxiety. >Result: the "need" almost immediately disappeared. I even tried cross dressing anyway just to see if it would change once I felt the comforting fabric of that sexy lingerie. >Nope, completely uninterested. Put on my own clothes and continued drinking in peace.
Anonymous
Weed makes me feel more "girly" too but i also feel better about it
Anonymous
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I'm bipolar and my self-esteem only exists for like 1/4 of the time so this is not relevant to me and I can't answer, but what I find odd is that>The "need" is lower or completely attenuated when I drink any form of alcohol, which always makes me feel more secure and self confident (duh)
Anonymous
>>5147937 >Weed makes me feel more "girly" too but i also feel better about it You just reminded me of another point I should have made. When smoking, I also feel better about the cross dressing. It even feels more natural.
But here's the thing: are we feeling better because weed makes us more "in sync" with transgenderism, or is it because we're anxious from the weed and cross dressing is a natural way for us to cope?
That's sort of the whole point I was trying to make - that I'm using cross dressing to cope with any depression and anxiety I'm having. It's literally the highest form of escapism I've ever had.
Anonymous
Folks with gender dysphoria also very often have depression, but not the other way around. Are you sure you aren't reversing cause and effect here? Like, if crossdressing specifically cheers you up when you're feeling low, that's a pretty big red flag imo.
Anonymous
Just btw, AGP doesn't exist. It's a horribly flawed and sexist hypothesis. Blanchard's trans typology basically boils down to women being nothing but sex objects; either you transition because you're super over-the-top gay or if you're not into men then it's clearly a bizarre fetish because why would you ever want to be a woman except so you can fuck dudes?
Anonymous
>>5147952 >Are you sure you aren't reversing cause and effect here? Like, if crossdressing specifically cheers you up when you're feeling low, that's a pretty big red flag imo. That's pretty much my biggest concern, and why I decided to post here. I feel like I'm right in assuming it's depression => transgenderism, but how can I be sure?
Anonymous
>>5147956 Personally, I just find it's the most descriptive term I can use to explain my behaviour. I don't experience gender dysphoria, I feel male, and I don't fantasize about being a woman in any other situation than strictly sex. If anything, I feel like calling myself transgender would be an insult to transgender people.
Anonymous
>>5147961 I'd say you should talk to a gender therapist. Like talk out your feelings, how you feel about crossdressing, how you relate to being (I assume) a guy, etc. I'm here if you'd like to chat a little but just keep in mind IANAD.
Anonymous
Most people dont try to kill themselves because they want to die, if they did the rate wouldnt be what its at even for men, their are very easy ways to kill yourself and you will do it if you really want. They kill themselves because they want to be someone different.
Anonymous
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>>5147950 occam's razor, bruh. Is cross dressing a thing most people do to "cope"? naw, smoking weed just makes you happy and want to do things that make you happy too.
Anonymous
>>5147967 I was under the impression that insulting transgenders is what this board is all about?
Anonymous
>>5147983 get out of here you mentally ill freak
Anonymous
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>>5147973 All the issues that introduced to my life would have made suiciding beforehand a much better choice tbh.
Looking forward to something? Trying to, but the tunnel is now clogged with so much shit that there ain't no light to see at the end anymore.
Anonymous
>>5147969 Tbh I think I would wait until I rid myself of the depression first, just to be sure. My side-life as trans/AGP doesn't really bother me much and I don't place too much of an importance on it. It's like, it's just a part of who I am (whether temporarily or permanently) and I'm fine with that. Like I said, I'm not dysphoric. Thanks for the advice and willingness to talk though.
>>5147973 What you say makes sense, but what point are you trying to make? It's late and I'm a little slow.
Anonymous
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>>5147988 That's what lgbt really is, if not by actual definition. But you know it's true.
Anonymous
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>>5148005 As someone who lives with depression, getting it managed is definitely huge. But regardless, talking to a therapist can help you unravel those feelings and work through them.
