>>7291909>>7291909Here's the first 500 words of my 2000 word story, leave the poor guy alone.
“The Hypersphere is big, boy. The Hypersphere is also vast,” the ghost of Donald Trump whispered to me from the foot of my bed, where he crouched in the foetal position noisily eating a large bag of Cool Original flavoured Doritoes.
“Fuck off Trump, it's four in the morning and I have to work tomorrow. Also you just said the same fucking thing twice” I said scowling. “Fuck off” I said again, tossing my alarm clock at him.
“The Hypersphere is larger than you can even imagine, my friend” Trump said, elegantly dodging the matte black plastic mass while simultaneously transfering a fistful of yellow carbs from packet to mouth: “The hypersphere is a trillion to the power of a trillion times larger than the largest thing to ever exist, and I can take you there if wish. You just have to ask.”
“I don't want to go to the Hypersphere, Trump. I want to go to bed, and then to work. Leave me alone” I raged quietly, wrapping myself in my quilt and (passive-)aggressively placing my head on my pillow. “And put the Doritoes back in the cupboards when you're done with them you great blonde cunt.” Trump gently stroked one of my feet.
“Come on buddy, budderino. Budweiser! Don't you want to know about the Hypersphere? It's really a wonderful place, and it would be cool if we could go together sometime,” he said in a sing-song voice. “I mean, it's so big. I think you'd do really well there. Everyone does well there, because it's just so fucking big! If you find that people don't like the things you like or do or believe, you just walk somewhere else, and because it's so big eventually you'll find a place where people love you for who you are.”
“Sounds like tumblr bullshit tbh Trump, like those 'safe spaces',” I said from beneath the covers.
“There's no such thing as a safe space in the Hypersphere my boy,” he laughed. “It's all Hyperspace.”
I sighed. “Look Trump, this is great. I love this shit, for real. But you've been harassing me like this for almost six weeks now, and it would be great if you'd at least talk about a property of this 'Hypersphere' that isn't related to its size. I mean fuck, hours every night for over fourty days, and all I know is that it's really fucking big. If you can't give me any vaguely original information then please, at least for tonight, just fuck off and let me sleep.” I said this in as definitive a tone as I could, and closed my eyes. Silence descended over my room. A dog barked somewhere in the night, and the earth revolved slowly around the sun.
