>>7271516I'd say the majority of us, myself included.
Clinically and in innumeration, I am supposed to be. I took an IQ test as twelve intended for adults and scored 139.
How I scored that, I don't know. I DID understand it, but I don't know HOW I understood it.
In brief, I think I suffer from some sort of reverse-autism, but I do not have Williams syndrome as I lack the calcium levels.
Scared as hell that it was dumb luck, I haven't took one again, and this alone I see as a sign of ineptitude. I shouldn't be worried about numerical scores, but I am.
I'm "gifted" in the liberal arts and "classics" and other things that don't really matter.
I suffer from disgraphia and math anxiety which have haunted me most of my life. I had a reputation as the "smart kid" in high school, and people thought my denial of it was just modesty. The minute they gave me a math problem to do, I died a little inside and admitted I couldn't do it, to which point I was just called lazy.
Truth is, I really couldn't. I can't even do division to this day. Geometry, Chemistry, and most Physics just make me break down crying in frustration.
Strangely I am OK at Trig, Calc, and things relating to "number theory."
On a related note, I'm so stupid I can't play a single instrument because I can't wrap my head around sheet music, but I excelled in a course on music theory and I am a bit of an audiophile.
I have self taught myself several simple woodwind melodies, but that leads me to believe I am even more retarded.
Self taught tricks tend to be barely more than improvision.
Speaking of which, I'm also rather impaired in instruction following. I can rarely see through convolution.
If someone gives me sloppy instructions, I have almost no faculties for "de-bullshitting" it. And I see this as a sign of being an academically banal person, and it harmed my education slightly.
Other reasons for me being a royal poshlost is because I have a tendency to be cynical.
Cynicism is an intellectual crutch, through and through. Similar, I have a vulgar mouth, and I find swearing to be another compensation.
I often contemplate killing myself, and I've heard and read studies that suggest suicidal thoughts stem from the more primal and retarded stock in humanity, so there's that.
On the bright side I fit all the stereotypes of a k genetic person, which I enjoy the thought of not being an R selection. Genetically I am still a shit hole. My father was a redneck, and my mother a rape baby.
Any sign of firing neurons coming from me was because of my own bookworm status and my forceful injection into the academic strata by pushing myself to learn more and more.
I'm also religious and it is a marker of "lesser individuals."
I am fully capable of thinking for myself however, and most of my political, philosophical. moral, and theological conclusions, while mirroring others, were obtained through my own processes.
Maybe I just have an inferiority complex.
idk tbh fam
