>be Thuycdides
>get elected as Stragos
>get trusted of maintaining and defending some backwoods region, that is literally located in the opposite direction of the war against Sparta, during which they can't get to (or would want to get to) without marching on land through Attica (which would be very easy to stop) or sail (yet again, easy to stop because you belong to the city-state that has supreme naval power in a war against another city-state which is known to have a shit Navy), all because of your family connections to the region and the influence of them in it
>probably the easiest region to defend at the time
>Spartans still managed to march through across the fucking mainland and sail with no trouble with a small experimental force to see if the Athenians were as retarded as they thought they were
>they managed to win over a few strategic cities in that region without even fighting; claim that you couldn't stop them in time, even though their whole campaign lasted a few months and you spent the entire time sitting on your ass, with all your forces, on the island where all your personal silver mines are conveniently located.
>The polis sees this, and exiles your ass for your failures
I DINDU NUFFIN, FUCKKING DEMOCRACY SHIT! MAN IF THAT NIGGA PERICLES DIDN'T DIE FROM ANCIENT EBOLA, ME, HIM AND NICIAS WOULD HAVE A BITCHING BENEVOLENT OLIGARCHY! FUCK ALICIBADES!
~t. Thuytitties
>proceed to stop mid sentence in your 500 page book and never finish it, despite living for another 10 years.
