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I don't know, I don't know, and I don't know. I guess to the last question things have gotten worse. It's one thing to read existentialism and "know" it, it's another to internalise it and give up on reality entirely. I don't attend class any more, don't socialise, don't flirt, just shitpost when I'm drunk. At least alcohol makes it easy to forget the meaninglessness for a little while.