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Quoted By: >>7282832
Hey /lit/ newbie writer here. Was looking to write a story that will be told rather than read. I'm new to writing in general and wanted to know if this wasn't absolute shit and if it is, what are some glaring mistakes?
Long enough ago that what remains of those involved have long since been abandoned by worms, but still recent enough to remember the tale fondly, there was a helmet.
Inside the helmet burrowed two eyeballs, throbbing against eyelids, clamped and crisscrossed closed by long beautiful lashes in fear of the bubbling blade-filled maw that smacked like a jolly applause.
The helmet wormed its way through the boney fingers of the scissor-mouth beast. It's own venomous salvia proved to be just as slick as it was unfavorable to ingest.
Knocking against a knuckle, the helmet soared through the air, landing playfully on the edge of a quick moving stream.
Inside the helmet, from beneath a thin top lip, teeth, as white and straight as the beasts were not, clamped down on a quivering lower lip, to steady a trembling jaw.
Long enough ago that what remains of those involved have long since been abandoned by worms, but still recent enough to remember the tale fondly, there was a helmet.
Inside the helmet burrowed two eyeballs, throbbing against eyelids, clamped and crisscrossed closed by long beautiful lashes in fear of the bubbling blade-filled maw that smacked like a jolly applause.
The helmet wormed its way through the boney fingers of the scissor-mouth beast. It's own venomous salvia proved to be just as slick as it was unfavorable to ingest.
Knocking against a knuckle, the helmet soared through the air, landing playfully on the edge of a quick moving stream.
Inside the helmet, from beneath a thin top lip, teeth, as white and straight as the beasts were not, clamped down on a quivering lower lip, to steady a trembling jaw.
