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>I drive a ford F-350 as my daily commuter
>I regularly roll coal in the faces of bikers and pedestrians who don't look as obese and/or free as me
>I haven't eaten a vegetable since I was 5
>I own over 20 guns
>Obama is a communist reptilian Freemason
>all blacks and immigrants are thugs and criminals and enemies of the state
>liberals are destroying this country

Whos the ideal author for me? I want to get into booklearnin' to see what all the fuss is about.