>>7293855Mostly ok, but nothing stands out about it. The opening sentence usually isn't the way to go. A lot of agents really don't give a flying fuck where you found their info, and it's basically a given that you wanted to contact them about a novel you're selling. Some agents don't mind this, some really can't stand it.
Though, >101,000 is a pretty big red flag. Especially when you consider the plot seems fairly straightforward.
>I’m an imaginative and prolific writer.Delete this, right the fuck now. This is the sort of shit that makes Agents laugh at you, and not with you. For one, SHOW, never tell. For another, you didn't really do that great job of showing your "imaginative and prolific," nature in this query. At best maybe i would describe you as "Kinda imaginative, and probably doesn't know what the word 'prolific', means."
>For the past year and a half, my writing has been focused on refining and editing (book title)Who gives a shit? If you don't have any writing credits, then it's best you just don't say anything.
>after it made the quarterfinalist’s list for the Amazon.com BreakthoughNovel Award in 2013Wow....pin a fucking badge on you man, there's a fucking credit. Holy shit, was the Nobel Committee informed too?
>This is my first venture into professional publishing and you’re the first agent I’ve seen in a while who is specifically requesting (epic fantasy/space opera) what I have to offer.Don't ever mention you're a first time author, unless of course, you have something interesting to say about it.
Overall.....you're right. It doesn't suck overall, in parts it definitely does. But i've seen a lot worse. The problem is, nothing stands out about it, nothing really captures imagination or interest. If you had any level of success with this query, i'd be stunned.
