My grades are slipping, bad. I'm becoming a pre-med burnout. My mom has terminal breast cancer, and things aren't looking good anymore. On top of that, my dad might have sternum cancer - we're still waiting on the results, and we're hoping it's just rheumatoid arthritis.
I'm just so tired...all the time. I've noticed I'm eating and sleeping less too. I'm seven days a week between school and work, and I don't have the energy to do either anymore.
No good night's sleep for about two years now, just naps. Work, nap, school, nap, the weekly all-nighter. Between it all, I've had one exam every week so far for different classes.
I've grown hateful and spiteful of how the world works. The government acts as though it's a reality TV show, throwing low blows towards each other instead of answering questions to the best of their ability. No one answers questions directly anymore; always keeping their fingers crossed behind their backs.
Also, I'm terrified of what would happen if U.S., China, Russia, and Syria went to war in the near future. I'm almost old enough to be one of the first drafted, should it escalate that far. The proxy war has already been started in Syria, how long until shit gets real?
The icing on the cake is that I have no close friends nor do I have anyone to share all of my love with. Loneliness is a cold existence, especially when no one wants to love somebody who dissects fetal pigs to learn about anatomy, or cultures Streptococcus pyogenes to observe beta-hemolysis, or learns the mechanism behind epoxide formation for enantiomer stereochemistry.
No, they'd rather love someone who whines when they get assigned three page papers. I eat that shit for breakfast, nigger.
None of that matters to me anymore. I've grown wiser and accepted that the greatest people who work the hardest get fucked the worst, like my mother with her cancer.
Why be sad when you can be numb?
