>>25205284Here's my position. I'm at the point where recently I was thinking I don't really have any friends just friendly acquaintances, and spending time with any them is fun but sad.
I've spent too much time not really having any goal, and I wonder if its time to just mix things up and act deliberately not passively. Finding some new place to start and make the best of things I know will never be all the way good, but a basis for being ok. I'm obviously not doing this right yet.
Yesterday I was texting one of my friends (I'll still chose that word). He's the guy I see most often, but I'd say I get along with others better. Honestly I've known him for quite a while, but generally I don't enjoy his company any more. In yesterday's texts, I was talking about final plans to go shoot with him, and he replies that he's schizophrenic and was out. I know I've said to myself that just some little socialization/kindness can help someone more isolated than myself, but now that its one of those moments I don't think I can be that guy.
