This is comedy gold, here is a Youtube video where old, bored white housewives make some of the absurdist arguments against "bike lanes"(really these are not fucking lanes, they are just lame lines painted on the road that any motorist can ignore):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1AbLu5EZLk&feature=youtu.be&t=29

>http://www.kpbs.org/news/2015/sep/23/coronado-puts-brakes-all-future-bike-lanes-after-r/

>“You are covering Coronado with paint stripe pollution,” said resident Gerry Lounsbury.

>“The graffiti on the streets does not help our property values,” declared Aileen Oya.

>The lanes “bring to mind a visual cacophony that if you look there long enough it will induce a dizzying type of vertigo,” said Carolyn Rogerson.

>Gerry MacCartee asked if the community couldn't think of a better option than “these black streets with these brilliant white lines everywhere because believe me, it takes away from your home, from your outlook on life.”

>And Darby Monger crafted an analogy to describe the addition of bike lanes to her beloved city.

>“It’s very similar to personally taking all three of my daughters to a tattoo parlor and having them completely body tattooed,” she said.

I discovered this via bikesnobnyc blog.